junio 17, 2008

deeming

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel constricted, suppressed, restrained within and as my free expression because of being in house with family

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be bothered by listeing to thei conversations
I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed msyelf to judge my mother and sisters for following other's crap

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad because i didn't write as much as other days

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be bothered by my parents criticizing my image presentation
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be bothered when my sister said that I've alays worried about fat
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to think, believe and perceive that my mother and sisters worry about superficial useless shit
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only enjoy being at parents home when I'm all alone, therefore, existing within and as constricting feeling while being here when they are around.
I forgive myself tha ti have accepted and allowed myself to despise my mother for her spanking moka and scolding her because she peed on the floor of the living room not just once.

i forgive myself tha t I have acepted and allowed myself to competely lost track of breathing today, all day long

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that this day was fucked because of sleeping almost 8 hours today, therefore, feeling fucked because of recharging it all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear moka could die soon.

.......... I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that I only express myself freely, without a shield on, with shakti and moka

i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I can relate only to certain people in my world, those going through process of self realization in awareness at desteni, therefore, existing within and as separation towards those that arenj't aware deeming them as lost.

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