junio 28, 2008

travel Inn

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dream about meeting Leila because of my desire to go travel to Europe to meet everyone at forum from Europe .

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myselt to exist within and as frustration for not being able to travel to Europe to their reunion in Beilgium because of me not having money available to travel this year.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire very much going to SA so I could rather meet everyone there in summer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that at same time I probably 'am not ready yet' to go there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel kind of left out for not being able to travel now and just be an observer of how events unfold while everyone else's travelling

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place hope in someday going to SA and meeting someone from forum there as well

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually do nothing to be able to earn myself some money so I can save and go to SA.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to self pity myself this way, lol, it's ridicule

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually place some hope in me being able to travel to SA somewhere next year

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire quitting all Iam currently in my world to join self support network with other forum members so we can start living and working for ourselves, for real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be at the expectation of how it will all unfold from others going to the farm... no expectation, just be there when the news arrive :)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience frustration for not being able to 'meet Leila' in dream right when I was getting to the 'meeting place' because my cell phone vibrator thing went off so it was time to wake up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually think believe and perceive I was very happy to finally be at Leila's house.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire making a good impression on her mom so she would allow us to be friends.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always feel the need to talk to my parents about SA or people I relate in forum so they know that I'm in this for real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself in the desire of going to Europe so bad lately, lol

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel left out of family because of me being the only one that hasn't crossed the big poodle yet

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive, that going to SA is lots lots of money and seems almost impossible to get the money

I will get the money and I will do what's required to be done to be able to make it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear staying here all the time,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying before I actually go to travel there

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that: all is here, no matter what I am here, I am all

thus words keeping myself in separation thinking that I must place myself in desire of doing something in able to achieve something... etc.. mindfuck

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my time will come for it all, so I have not to place a wish or desire on going there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire and wish to go to Europe or SA because I see that it could really change my life going there

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place expectations in meeting people of desteni forums and people at desteni, because of me having developed 'a bond' with them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop a 'special bond' with the whole desteni creation because of how my life has changed since I discovered it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel a bit ashamed of actually having much gratefulness towards people doing this, not realizing that they know what oneness and equality is, therefore, they do it in statement of oneness and equality as life as all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not ever going to SA

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe or perceive, that my life could be gone in any minute and I'm not ready for that yet.

I am here,
I am ready

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