julio 05, 2008

6 hehe

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire having sex today

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved by the idea of placing myself being with another one having sex

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled and directed by the desire ruling my very being, not realizing that it is the mind manifesting desire, not what I really am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and alowed myself to fear my own sexual nature because I used to define myself as being a very sexual person

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I prooved myself not being a sex addict because I endured 3 months of no sex, not realizing it's not about time or days, but about me as the need and desire of having sex

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as desire focusing all my time and attention in wondering whether I should meet with ex boyfriend or not.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I desperately needed to have sex once again, to 'prove' myself within and as sexual intercourse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the 'proof' as an excuse to exist wihtin and as desires of having sex

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to lose all focus in breath while thinking about possibly having sex

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire having sex because it was a usual and natural thing for me to do while it lasted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that my ex boyfriend is available anytime I wish and desiring having some sex with him

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself when I exist within and as sexual desires because I deem it to be a very powerful feeling and emotion that 'needs to be released' not realizing that I am able to stop in every moment by being and existing only as the breath of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceieve that sex is something 'bad' to do now

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being suppresing myself within and as the desire of having sex because of fearing 'looping' myself within this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be able to satisfy my sexual desires by myself

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I need a man to fulfill my sexual needs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wonder about having sex instead of existing here as the breath of life in every moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having placed sex as the primary activity while having a relationship

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fool myself believing in love while having sex

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I needed thoughts, pictures and emotions in order to 'express myself' through the sexual intercourse

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me as a sexually open person

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be desired by that person I was having sex with

I forgive msyelf that i accepted and allowed myself to desire being 'loved' by the person with whom I experienced myself through sex

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me as being an addict to the sexual act because of perceiving it as a naturally human activity to do.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire being desired by someone else to have sexual intercourse with.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that sex was one of the bigggest pleasures in the world, never realizing and understanding or knowing what is it that I was supporting while existing within and as those thoughts feelings and emotions towards the sexual activities.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accept sex as an ok activity with me with a person I deemed that 'respected and appreciated' me therefore, feeling 'safe' while having sex whith those men

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I 'fall' everytime I am seduced or teased to have sex with someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I'm not such a sex psycho because I've only had sex with three men in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire making this clarification so others won't think 'bad' things about me as being a real nympho

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being judged by my sexual self forgiveness, not realizing that everyone goes through these same deals as we are all equal and one

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel 'cooler' than other people or girls specifically when I was in school because I was 'sexually open' and dared to talk about topics of sex without any shame or embarrassment

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that at least I experienced sex with men without any shame or embarrassment while doing so

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I was a good sexual partner

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that men really enjoyed being with me during the sexual act.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I wanted to be praised by men that sex with me because I perceived myself to be really good at it

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create the sexual experiences whenever I had the 'desire' or 'need' to have a sexual relationship

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that being a sexually open person was a quality within me, which I had to use and 'get the best of'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I never desired relaionships per se, but only having a 'safe partner' to have sex with.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fool myself with the idea or belief that the relationship I had with boyfriend was beyond sex only.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fool myself thinking that the other two were merely interested in 'who I am' not only about having ocassional sex with me

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be recognized by my sexual abilities (lol)

I forgive myself that i accepted and allowed myself to feel 'cool' for being able to enjoy without any shame or embarrassment the sexual intercourse

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel 'special' because not so many girls were open to discuss this with the partner and be open towards the sexual experience while being at it.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that sex gave me 'energy' and made me feel 'alive and sparkling'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think ,believe and perceive that I was made to experience and enjoy sex openly and naturally

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deem sex as being an important activity within my life in order to think believe or perceive that I was 'in this world' and 'living'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that weed and sex were the greatest mix

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to exist without the need and desire of having sex, meaning the desire for sex construct is still running inside me

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that sex is only a system manifestation and that by me allowing myself to be sex directed, I am allowing myself to be only sex in that moment, a system manifestation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire experiencing myself with someone in 'intimacy' because I deemed that as being a close and pure encounter with two beings

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive sex being a pure act of love

I forgive myself that i accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I must resist having sex, not realzing that that which I resist, persists

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me within and as sex

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hide all my sexual life to family and such, not realizing that someday 'all will be known' therefore experiencing fear of them knowing it all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take sex as a usual thing between huaman beings therefore still experiencing some fears of being exposed within this self forgiveness

I forgivem myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear expressing myself now through sex

oh-oh I got stuck

I am not the sex system manifestation

I am not desire for sex
I am not need for sex
I don't require sex to manifest life within me
I don't need to have sex just because I 'desire' to do so
I am one and equal to sex, no more separations and desires.
I stand up here as the breath of life


Ok. I'm glad I didn't give head to my desires today. Instead wrote this.

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