julio 15, 2008

Astro birth chart pt. 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get myself involved too much in other's lives and issues, to make myself think believe and perceive that then such person would need me to 'support' them but only allowing me to perceive myself as being 'helpful' or supportive to make me feel better about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this 'maternal loyalty' to those that I deemed to care about, in order to keep people 'safe' within my world

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire making people trust me, placing me as a 'trust worthy' person

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking self responsibility in all that I get involved in, not wanting to compromise myself in that which I doubt to be able to 'handle'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed within and as the mind instead of me handling myself here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive myself as not being a stable person, therefore allowing me to fluctuate within and as the mind through feelings and emotions. I do not accept and allow the mind to direct my being here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever think believe and perceive that I could be 'emotionally unsatisfied' within my life. I am not the mind, I am not emotions I cannot possibly be emotionally unsatisfied lol

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what i am and what I have become through acceptances and allowances, instead of being courageous to confront myself here

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to lose determination whenever I experienced 'failure' or not the desired result.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined as 'mentally lazy' meaning not being able to direct myself here, to take self responsibility instead of drowning into depression or instability

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lack self direction towards exploiting my creativity within

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up before I even started

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to 'like and enjoy' looking at the past as memories and pictures because I deemed that while doing so I could 'live' that moment again, not realizing mind works as memories and pictures, therefore it's not who I am

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I had an 'inspired creativity' not realizing that inspiration and creativity are of the mind. I am self direction in order to do what requires to be done in the moment

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I was 'guided' by a strong sense of intuition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I could 'comprehend and understand' people's problems and life situations, not realizing I didn't even understand and comprehended myself first

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to understand or comprehend myself, not realizing a mind cannot comprehend/understand itself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I could only 'respect' people who care about 'improving' their lives

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive I could improve myself, as in evolution, not realizing this is complete mind fuck and who I am is not able to be improved or evolved, but only realized as all here

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire, want and need to be people who could be 'similar' as me not realizing that I was only seeking to be with similar systems and following pattern recognitions as who I accepted and allowed and thought myself to be

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever think, believe and perceive that a 'stronger power' was guiding my steps in life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive I could 'see through' people to get to the core of their essence, to who they really are beyond all the superficial layers

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive myself as being arrogant while trying to 'have the answer for it all' not realizing this is a complete mindfuck of the arrogant as knowledge and information that is of the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be overwhelmed by apathy and lack of interest to get things done. I direct myself, I do not accept and allow apathy and lack of interest to suppress myself in expression here

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire leaving a 'good impression' of myself to others while using 'sweet' words and being 'nice' to people in order to be liked and accepted

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to fear falling in embarrassment while putting the mask on of being 'nice and gentle' to others, instead of unconditionally expressing myself in the moment

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to pretend being 'someone else' instead of who I really am beyond the perception of myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to being accepted and making feel others 'comfortable' around me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I liked luxury and fine stuff

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I enjoyed making new 'friends' in order to feel accepted, loved and in 'harmony' with others

I forgive myself that i accepted and allowed myself to ever think believe and perceive that harmony was something of impportance in my world, not realizing that harm on me fears disturbance and riots

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to fear being involved in riots and disturbances

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear while being part of any large crowd that could turn into a riot

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to avoid being involved in riots, disturbances, violence and raw situations where I could not be able to be 'in control' of situations therefore causing me much anxiety, fear and frustration within my self

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to always guide myself according to being always in places/situations where I could be 'safe' and free from any harm that could cause me 'losing my grip'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to get excited while being involved in philosophical and spiritual conversations thinking believing and perceiving that I could 'find' the truth while being in the mind, not realizing that CONversations were only mind fucks shared with others

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to recoil in the perceived 'beauty of creation' thanking 'god' for its nature and beauty as what I perceived through the eyes of the mind

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I would be involved living in a foreign country and enjoying a foreign culture in the future

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I would be able to find 'love' and 'get married' with a foreigner

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place hope and desire for a future moment for these events to take place, never realizing it was a preprogrammed existence and not who I really am, directing myself here in every moment of every breath.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive I had a 'gift' of 'seeing beauty' where others saw 'ugliness' not realizing it's all mind polarity through judgments and perceptions and that is not who I really am at all

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to put me on an 'infinite quest' towards the 'finding' of love, beauty and richness of the world

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to enjoy and desire being in 'center stage' meaning, being the focus of attention and attraction to others in order to be noticed and accepted

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever blackmail a person emotionally in order to achieve my own interests and desires.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to care too much about pictures and styles and image presentations, thinking believing and perceiving that what meets the eye is important to define someone

I forgive myself that i ever accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I could define someone by just looking at them

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be ambitious, to desire getting 'there' and to the 'final result/goal' as soon as possible, not realizing that rush and ambition are manifestations of the greed of mind, the grid of this consciousness existence

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear chaos within me therefore, hanging on to the desire of order and organization to make me 'feel at ease' in control and giving me a sense of safety

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hang on to the idea of desiring to be safe

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire being in constant order and organization in order to be calm and peaceful in my experience

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be greedy

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire achieving my goals and placing myself in a future moment where I would be 'fulfilled' by having accomplished all these set goals in life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever place more value and importance to material world instead of who we really are here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dominated by sexual desires and perceiving them as being very powerful.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I needed to be living in a constant feeling or emotion so I could perceive myself as 'living' never realizing that those are mind systems running inside me, therefore not who I am in any way

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that i could only share my life with someone involved in the same 'spiritual quest' as i perceived myself to be

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I was on the road to 'personal realization' never realizing there exists no personal realization but the realization of all as one as equal beyond the individualized perception of the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I could sacrifice myself for the sake of others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I 'loved' the mystical, spiritual and psychology of the mind.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to treasure objects placing them value and a 'special meaning' because they were part of a moment in the past

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever think believe and perceive that I could only enjoy life by having a big amount of money and wealth in properties and objects that were 'valuable' in and as the material world

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever think, believe and perceive that I could be fulfilled in life by living in a big comfy loft in any city where I could develop my creative skills

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fantasize and project myself into a future moment where I would be able to be wealthy as in money value and living a 'comfortable' and 'pleasant' life

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to desire being happy in life

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire being part of the 'intellectual' world

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that things and material possessions were of value for me

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to place value, meaning and placing objects as symbols in my every day life in order to give a 'meaning' and significance' to my existence, not realizing that I wasn't placing meaning and significance to my own life as the breath as who I am here

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I needed to be assured within and as a religious/spiritual belief in order to, from there, be able to build myself within and as such belief/idea/thought to give 'meaning' and 'direction' to my life, instead of directing me as who I really am here as all as one and equal.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire wanting and needing to attain 'higher knowledge' in order to make sure I was making the 'right' decisions to direct and guide my life

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire following instructions and steps instead of directing me in every single moment of every single breath

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire power and recognition in this life, wanting to place myself above others in superiority to be of worth and and as an example to follow

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the superiority/inferiority polarity manifestation instead of remaining in simplicity as who I really am beyond mind definitions and placements within this world.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to place myself into a pursue of the 'ultimate knowledge' and seeking 'wisdom' which could lead me to make the 'right' decisions for my life

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to give power away placing my trust on to beliefs and followings of certain spiritual or religious ideals in order to be 'near god' or the spiritual world

I forgive myself that I didn't accept and allow myself to realize that all is here, and I needed to seek no more

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to place effort and all endeavors seeking the one truth that could make me realize who I am, never realizing that who I am is simplicity of life as the breath here, that's it.

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that it was ok for me to desire having certain objects such as books or any other thing because they would 'help me' in my path to the revelation of myself, therefore creating any excuses to obtain what I wanted

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hide/deny the desire for power and money that moved my steps into this world

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire being part of the 'all knowing ones' , desire being part of the people in awareness in order to be part of the 'chosen' ones

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel regret and embarrassment for ever feeling/believing and perceiving that I was special in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I was a 'special' being in order to 'change the world' never realizing that I wouldn't be able to change anything from the starting point of separation as who I really am

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be guided by the 'need' of wanting to achieve many things at the same time, to be able to get it all done by once and for all

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever think believe and perceive that I had to get 'high' in a social status in order to be able to influence the world and change it

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that by reaching a 'known' and high position in society I would be able to direct others on to the 'right path' of life

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I had to make a difference in this world, not realizing that I wasn't even aware of who i really was and how this world worked, therefore, only living in dreams of 'future perfection'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire want and need praise and recognition from others in order to keep myself going into achieving what I perceived as my 'goals in life'

I forgive myself that I didn't accept and allow myself to do things for me as me, not needing any kind of external approval and recognition in order to be satisfied with myself

I forgive myself that I didn't accept and allowed myself to be satisfied with who I am and have been all my existence in the simplicity of the breath, here, within and as oneness and equality

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever think believe and perceive that my life needed to be 'fulfilled' by achieving certain tasks and accomplishments within this world as those 'missions in life' I perceived I had to 'fulfill'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear failure, to fear embarrassment in my experience while not being able to 'achieve' or 'fulfill' my goals and desires of my life experience in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that failure exists

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe or perceive that I could disappoint myself and others within my life experience

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me according to a never-ending seeking to find an 'ultimate truth/wisdom/enlightenment' that could guide and direct my life, never realizing that I am truth here as life as all as one as equal, no seeking, no finding, only realizing what is here as me

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever harbor 'high expectations' of who I could get to be in this world and how I could develop myself within and as who I perceived myself to be, never realizing that I don't need to go anywhere or achieve anything as I am here as all as one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience embarrassment of my old beliefs and perceptions while writing them, not realizing that I am forgiving myself for all that I allowed myself to harbor within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever allow me to see common sense of who I really am within this existence as life, here, as the breath of life

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to experience an apparent never-ending optimism, not realizing that a fear of disillusionment and a feeling of despair hid behind such optimistic suit

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to place me within and as the perceived 'positive' polarity in this world, believing that in such a way, I could make a change and a difference in this world

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to place desires wants and needs within myself to be able to 'change the world' and 'make it a better place' for you and for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize this is part of a michael jackson song

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive me as an 'agent of change' within the places and around the people I have experienced myself within this life experiences, never realizing that we are ALL part of the solution as ourselves within and as oneness and equality

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to seek a solution in separation of myself . I am the solution as I am here

I forgive myself that i accepted and allowed myself to ever lose strength and motivation whenever things didn't come out the way I expected

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as expectations of what could happen in a near/far future in my life experience, therefore, not allowing me to live here as the moment as me

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that who I was had limits and bounds, not realizing that who I really am is limitless and boundless, as any of that would be separation of me as who I really am here

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to seek for an external 'spitirual guidance' instead of being self direction as me in oneness and equality as life. I direct me

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever desire being able to define and shape me according to beliefs in 'superior truths' that were acquired knowledge instead of realizing my nature as who I am here

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me according to the search and seeking for an ultimate truth that could be the 'changing motor' in this existence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to being intolerant with that which I didn't perceive as 'being part of me' therefore, not embracing all of me as who I am here, beyond definitions and categories of the mind

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I needed to be more tolerant, not realizing tolerance is but the acceptance of dishonesty in others as me, keeping us separated from believes/ideas/perceptions of the mind.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire having established and ever-lasting principles within my life which I could use as 'pillars' to build myself as an individual in this world.

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that everyone could have their own beliefs, never realizing the separation this entailed and never realizing the oneness and equality as who we really are

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I needed to 'preach' my truth on to others, not allowing them to realize themselves instead of sharing knowledge and information within and as belief constructs as the mind

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear changing, to fear losing that which I am 'used to be', not realizing it's the manifestation of fearing death, fearing losing all that I have defined myself as in a certain moment

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire want and need to be recognized as a solid/strong/secure being as the ego of the mind that I perceived myself to be. I am not the mind/ego I am here as all, beyond definitions

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I cared/was sensitive to others thoughts/ideas/perceptions of myself as who I was within and as the mind as the ego

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not taking the opportunities in my life to be able to direct myself within this matrix, fearing not being able to sustain myself and not taking the 'ride' when the opportunity presents itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I could 'discern' problems more easily than others, not realizing that problems to be solved exist within and as the mind, not as who I really am

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to perceive a fascination within me to inquire in mind problems and situations because of my belief and perception that I could pin point the transformation point easily.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me according to a perceived 'loyalty' on to those that mattered to me as friends and people with whom I experienced myself in any kind of relationship formation of my 'choice'

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to define me as being serious whenever 'serious topics' were discussed

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I needed to 'reach' certain identity or position by identifying with a group of people with collective participation in benefit of the 'progress' of the society we live in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify myself according to this group of people with a similar aim defined by people that aren't geographically near one from another, only mattering the collective dedication to 'reaching' this common aim.

(isn't this desteni? lol)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I liked having 'eccentric and unconventional' people as friends and relationships

Lol There's this bit that says: your goals and aims in this life could change radically in a rather short period of time, as if one day you'd wake up with a new vision of what you need to be

coughdestenicough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that i was meant to find desteni in my life to place myself in process of self realization in order to realize myself as one and equal in every moment as me as who i am here

:" this contact will make you desire freeing yourself from limitations, specially from relationships. You are able to make unexpected changes and cutting careers and relationships abruptly and without hesitation. "

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by the changes that are currently happening in my life experiencing, taking them as part of what needed to 'happen' in my world in order to place me in here

"you are able to disentangle yourself from the contradictions you experience in your own behavior"

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to follow a strong desire and need 'to be remembered, to leave a trace' of who I was in this life existence, not realizing this was mere ego need to be recognized and accepted by other minds in order to exist

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deeply harbor a need to be someone of ' importance' in history of the world', therefore worrying myself about politics and history of the global situation I have and am experiencing right now. There exists no such thing as being 'more than' as we are all one and equal and all this is mindfuick trying to sustain the perceived identity and ego of the mind.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be gullible in false beliefs and prophets of the knowledge and information that regarded the end of the world as we know it

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me according to developing a defined 'altruist' activity in benefit of all as one and equal' not realizing that what we are is undefinable and it's not of this world.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to only think and dream of oneness and equality as a 'utopia' that wouldn't be able to exist because of the level of fuckedupness that exists in this world.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever think believe and perceive that oneness and equality would manifest itself without our direct intervention, therefore, not taking self responsibility for ourselves in hope someone/something else would

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define as a 'specific being' that would be useful for the birth of people in some spiritual/physical birth

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'the energies of total transformation' are within me, thinking that I would have to be careful of messing this up individually and collectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I could only achieve and be my own total satisfaction by placing myself in helping others for their human and spiritual development because of my perceived 'sensitive and inspiring' temperament

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in 'the evolution of consciousness' as where I had to direct myself to

hmmm here I read this: 'this is how we learn that pain and crisis aren't necessarily a stigma or pathology, something bad that must be avoided at any price, but as something that is part of a wider process that leads to renovation and renaissance. (...) Then, suddenly you will see yourself thrown into an abyss of depression: nothing seems to make sense, the world seems hostile and empty, what once was sacred and worshiped in your world now its fake and traitor, until 'from divine intervention' rebirths from the ashes, the phoenix of a new philosophical and spiritual conviction, the biggest and most beautiful of all'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that what is written there is what I'm experienced after and while finding desteni

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever think, believe or perceive that it was a 'divine' intervention

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that this process of realization was something necessarily beautiful

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define this process as a philosophical or spiritual conviction

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me according to having my 'belief system' completely demolished therefore, creating a 'devastating' experience within me, not realizing that it was only the mind fearing its own death as who it perceived itself to be in separation of self as all here

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to submerge in depression/emotional breakdown thinking believing and perceiving that life wasn't worthy anymore, that world was too fucked up and messed up to be worthy of living, never realizing that it is all a creation of myself and I must face myself as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be in order to be here, and not be of the mind and its illusions but remain here as all as one as equal

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that i could use my common sense and responsibility in order to bring 'positivity' into this world to 'fight' with negativity that I perceived in the world. I am process of self realization as one and equal here, as who I/we really are beyond polarities and definitions of the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I attract and am attracted with people with 'powerful egos' and 'strong temperaments' not realizing this is mere mind game as ego recognition as that which I am not at all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I am an exigent person within my relationships

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I could mold people into who i wanted them to be, not realizing that is extreme manipulation as the ego of the mind as who I am not.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I could get whatever I wanted in this world by using the right 'suit' within this world

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me as the intensity which I experienced myself as while being in a relationship with someone

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to manipulate and control people with whom I related myself with, being subtle in placing them in the place and position that I wanted and desired them to be

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to be a manipulator without being fully aware of it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that inside this manipulation imposed on to others, I would be able to create a 'positive' change within themselves, not realizing I was only justifying my actions on to others in order to get what I wanted

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to unconditionally believe and trust my thoughts/ideas/beliefs never realizing I was being directed by the mind as that which I am not

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to define me according to the knowledge and information I acquired in past years, making me an 'intellectual arrogant' that would place me in certain suit of personality that isn't who I am

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to discriminate beings for the amount of knowledge they had, perceiving them as inferior for not 'knowing' as much as I perceived myself to know

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that only 'god' could see it all and know it all and be present everywhere, not ever realizing that his 'god' was consciousness and was the enslavement trap as this existence as who we experience ourselves to be here

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear ridicule and embarrassment therefore, placing a mask on myself as being nice, peaceful, calm and controlled within myself.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear other people's envy therefore, allowing me to be affected by the envy others lay on to me throughout my whole life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I am able to be affected by other's envy on to me

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to suffer, since a child, the envy of others for who I was and experienced myself within this life

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to fear revengeful people

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to create unconditionally for and as myself, instead of desiring creating in order to impress people and acquire recognition or power within this world.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take and define sex as a game/fun sport to practice

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to be self directive, independent from others influence and definitions as who they perceive and think myself to be

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to trust myself unconditionally as self trust is who I am, therefore not allowing hesitation in the expression of myself in every single moment of every single breath

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire making decisions and options according to other's decisions in their lives, therefore, fearing remaining alone as self responsibility as who I am here

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to suppress my own convictions and my expression in order to fit in an environment, situation within a certain group of people in order to avoid conflict and debates

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear confrontation, therefore suppressing my myself expression in life experience

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire not 'walking my own path alone' and desiring having people walking with me to not have to face myself alone.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I needed to be 'followed' or have a CONfirmation that I am going through the 'right path'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to indulge in the mind while trying to comprehend and understand the behavior and life of others, never realizing that we are all mind consciousness systems with specific placements that would make us think believe and perceive that each person had a 'defined' personality and manners and unique ways of being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I am impatient to people that I perceive as being 'slower' than me

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that 'fulfillment' in my life resided in being able to perceive 'I had done something of worth and value' in my life and using my perceived 'talents' efficiently.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive myself as being comfortable, safe and happy whenever things 'went exactly the way I expected them to be'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that one of my goals in life was placing into application all the knowledge and Information acquired within my life experience.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I had to be 'guided' by reason, never realizing that it is of the mind, and I am not the mind. I direct me as self direction in oneness and equality here as life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place desires of being 'recognized' by society because of supposed achievements and benefits/productivity within society.

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I had to fulfill other's expectations on to myself while being independent and self responsible in all ways

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive and define myself according to the kind of 'guys' that I liked in my life as being original and not conventional, men that wouldn't doubt in questioning the establishment and break barriers/taboos of that which they perceive to be true.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me according to the kind of men that I perceive to like

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to create relationships with men that would have more of a 'mental affinity' rather than an 'emotional affinity' not realizing this is all mind preprogrammed pattern recognition of systems that stick to similar systems within this consciousness existence.

I am not definable, I am not able to prefer certain kind of people, I am all as one as equal, no difference, no separation.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I had to be with people that would stimulate me 'intellectually' because then I would be 'happy' lol

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I was attracted to 'warm/effusive and eccentric people'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to my attraction towards 'the art world' and its people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to the attraction perceived towards people being self-absorbed therefore thinking believing and perceiving that I could 'take them out' of that estate of mind, in order to 'adapt' them to live on to the real world

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire equality to reign in the world, not realizing that equality is what we already are and we just need to realize this

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me according to the intolerance and abruptness that I could experience myself as in certain situations in life

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever define me according to the 'level' of sociability perceived within myself, going from points of defining me as anti-social or sociable person

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to the 'need' to be in constant change and innovation in order to keep me 'occupied' and 'entertained'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in a 'fantasy world' instead of being here as the moment as the breath of life, not indulging in the mind as pictures and images

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me according to how others could perceive me such as being 'a little crazy'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me according to apparently having a 'fast mind' that would make me understand and grasp concepts faster than others, not realizing that I am not fuicking mind and that only creates separation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined according to being 'cold blooded' and thinking believing and perceiving that I would have to cultivate more "human warmth" whatever that means

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I need to be constantly challenged or 'stimulated' in order to keep myself going. I apply myself constantly as who i am is constant, I do not need or require an external stimulation or challenge to unconditionally apply me in every moment of every breath here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to which 'professions' are more suitable for me being related to arts, psycology, technologies and research.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to a date of birth being it september first 1986 at 4:40 pm

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to every single point explained above as the astrological birth chart as who I was designed and preprogrammed to be

I am not a design, I am not a system, I am not a preprogrammed life, I am not my astrological birth chart

I am here as all as one as equal

I stop all definitions from the mind, I express me I direct me I live as the breath of life unconditionally here

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