julio 06, 2008

Comfort, luxury and pity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become used to having 'all I need and require' to survive in this world provided by my father

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my father because he's the one that gives me money and all the stuff 'I own' to survive in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing all that is around me whenever I'm at parent's home or apartment in mexico city, because it's all that I think/believe/perceive I 'need' and 'require' to survive in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as comfort of not having to work to earn money to survive in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as having two places to live in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as getting to parents house because I know there is plenty of food and comfort for me to 'enjoy' and experience myself in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as waking up every morning and being able to boil water to prepare tea

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as having internet all the time and being able to be in the internet

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as having my own laptop therefore, being able to take it with me wherever I go not having to share with sisters or anyone else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear something happening to my laptop because of my belief and perception that 'I would be lost then'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing internet connection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing internet connection if a catastrophe arrives around where I live cutting and damaging all communication because then I wouldn't be able to communicate with people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as having a clean bathroom to use

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as having warm water to shower myself with anytime I want

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being able to get water from the tap anytime I want

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as having enough food to eat in any of the houses I live in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being able to choose from a wide variety of clothes to wear during the day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for not using all the clothes I own, therefore, thinking believing and perceiving I wasted my father's money in that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being able to sit in the leather couch with the laptop on and reading stuff in forum while I sip on my tea or coffee watching out the window

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being able to wash clothes in washing machine

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being able to get to my house with different buses because they all get around here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being able to own my own room to sleep in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as the couches and sofas I sit upon while being in laptop

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being able to drink as much water as I want and having money to buy more water if needed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as always having money in wallet and always receiving money from my father to be able to buy anything I want anytime

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I must give something back to my father for all that he gives to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as having food made by my mother everyday even if I'm not in home because I got a fridge and I'm able to freeze home made food

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as having my own 'stuff' as furniture and ornaments in house that I chose myself therefore, existing within and as the comfort of something 'I created and choosed'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as having my own room and my own apartment that is good enough to live in mexico city

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as having the school in a 5 minute walk from home

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as not having to share the room with anyone else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define discomfort as having to share the apartment with someone else still

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as knowing that 'I won't ever be missing food or skipping meals because of having no food' because of my belief and perception that I will always have money and food to live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel secure because I know that my sisters and father work and they are able to support me in case I find myself having no money or food to survive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely only on my father to survive in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I'm too spoiled for all the stuff I get

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being able to ask anyone in family to give me a ride wherever I want to go in their cars

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the nice bus to travel to mexico city and back because i've got enough money to do so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as having money+

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being able to ask for anything I want for food to my father and being sure that he will buy me that stuff on a regular basis

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as not having to cook my own food

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as having bathrooms available for me to use wherever I experience myself in

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being able to choose what I eat

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as being able to go to nice restaurants to eat with family on regular basis

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as being able to travel in their spiffy cars

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as having a big house to live in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as having products to eat or any other kind of stuff that isn't essential for a living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become used to using and consuming stuff that isn't essential for living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as being able to brew capuccinos at parent's home

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as being able to have a garden in house

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as having a nice home to live in with lots of furniture and stuff

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take electricity for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take water service for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the drainage system for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my mother's cooked food for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel dependent on my father to survive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on electrical appliances such as laptop, coffee maker, wireless internet and any socket with power to be able to live and experience myself fully

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent on electricity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being able to warm water to take a shower

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as wearing the clothes I like, the shoes I choose and all that I decide to use

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as having dvd's and cd's and all that stuff I once bought to entertain myself with

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as having a bass and a guitar to play

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as being able to study arts because of the 'belief' that art is for rich people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I will get rich from art

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as knowing that my sisters could support me financially as well

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as being able to spend money in that which I choose to buy, and not having restrictions about it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as only having to ask for money and getting it right away

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel 'bad' whenever my father give me money because of my thought idea and belief that 'I'm a parasite' and only extending my hand to receive his money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I'm being ungrateful with my family for all the stuff they 'give me' and support me with

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as knowing that my parents own this house

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as knowing that I will have a place to return to, if I go somewhere else

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define familiarity as being surrounded by family which are the beings I've been with my whole life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as not having to worry about where to get money from to survive each day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as having a comfy bed with cushions in it so I feel cozy and secure in my bed

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as being able to buy any stuff I need for my school stuff

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel 'bad' for being sustained by my father living out of home, therefore, having to pay a rent and food for me each month

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive 'I'm a drag' for them, which is only my assumption because they haven't said anything like this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being able to buy chocolates and coffee and water and fruits and all kinds of food for my daily life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as knowing I've got more than one thing in my shelves to use for the future

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about someday not having anything to eat in my shelves

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having no water to drink

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being able to have a warm and safe place to live in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being able to shelter from the cold and the rain and the heat inside my house

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being able to walk to the supermarket whenever I need stuff around here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as sleeping whenever I want and the amount of hours I desire to sleep

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being able to move myself wherever I want around here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as being able to travel outside of my city to get to know other places or countries

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being able to experience myself in another country without having to worry about money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define safety as always having money in my wallet

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as having plenty of coats and sweaters to wear when it's cold

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience self pity towards those that have no safe and warm place to live in therefore, live in the streets and cover themselves in sewages or underneath bridges and other places in street because of them not having anywhere else to go

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be self pity towards all the people that ask for money or food in the streets or in my house or wherever I see beggars with ragged clothes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as being able to have clean warm water to shower everyday

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being able to experience myself around a clean tidy house

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as having an apartment to live in mexico city, not having to live in someone else's house or sharing the room or living only in a little room

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being part of this family

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the income of my family depleting because then, I would 'be lost' not realizing that all that I 'own' and all that is here as material stuff isn't necessary to live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place importance towards that which I deem as being of comfort and luxury because of me being used to that my whole life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience self pity for all the people that do not own not even a fraction of what I think believe and perceive myself to own and enjoy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place comfort in situations and thing outside separate from me, not realizing that I am all, I am comfort and I need nothing else in separation of me to realize myself here, living as the breath of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing all the comfort and luxury I live within because of me thinking believeing and perceiving that I'm too used to it and I would miss it if I would lose it.

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to desire having 'more' than what I already have.

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to compare my lifestyle and the stuff I owned to the stuff and lifestyle and houses of people I knew and related myself with

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to condition my visit to some houses of friends depending on 'what I would get' from them and their houses such as food and comfort while staying there

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to define me as boring or wanting to go out from places I deemed as not being comfortable enough or not having 'that much to offer'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I would someday be rich and have all the comforts in this world not realizing that is greed and I need no more, In fact I have more than I really need

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret having bought so many useless shit that, in the moment, was special and I deemed as 'good inversion to make'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as being able to go to the states to buy all clothes, cd's, and tennis shoes I wanted

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as being able to spend some vacation with my whole family somewhere else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define enjoyment as being on vacation with my whole family traveling somewhere else and staying in hotels and eating in restaurants, buying stuff etc

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as having being able to have lots of different pairs of tennis shoes to choose from because I deemed to have a tennis shoes collection.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as being able to buy sort of expensive clothes here and having most of my clothes being bought outside of country

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being able to right a list to my mother of the stuff I wanted her to buy me when she goes year after year on shopping spree to the states
FUICK that is lousy

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to feel embarrassed and pissed because of my mother spending lots of money in clothes for all and useless stuff

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to criticize my mother for being addicted to shopping when it's her 'time' to go shopping

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to criticize and judge my family for buying stuff that I deem as completely 'useless' and 'unnecessary'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my parents and sisters 'treats' on them as buying all sorts of expensive clothes and accesories and stuff that I could just throw to the garbage can

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to care about the bran in clothes

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to desire having only clothes with 'known' brands in it

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to be very exigent on the stuff I wore and the stuff I bought wanting everything to be of quality and good brand

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as having an ipod

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as having a cellphone, even though I barely use it, I deem it as being a 'safe thing to carry around' because it enables me to communicate with people instantly

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to ever care too much about the way things looked around my house, meaning, having the quality in stuff and the comfort and the look of it all

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deem and define comfort as being able to have clean underwear to use everyday

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being able to eat all I want whenever I want because it's right here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define luxury as being able to travel every week to parents house taking it as my 'weekend'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as being on my own in comfortable clothes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever think believe and perceive that I needed and desired more than I have to fulfill my experience here completely

I am simplicity of life I do not require any of this stuff to really live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to now judge and criticize the comfort I live in, not realizing that it is separation as I'm judging myself as the experince of myself here

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to be sad because of seeing all the peopel that don't get to have/own/enjoy the same stuff I am able to enjoy, therefor experiencing pain for this life being unfair

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to experience self pity whenever a woman knocks on the door asking for food or clothes that we no longer want, therefore thinking that she is taking our remains, that which we 'despise'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad because I experience myself as being rather wealthy in comparison to the majority of people in this country where almost half of population experiences severe poverty and hunger

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel pity for people that beg for food and money in the streets

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to judge my country for not being 'wealthy enough' as the states or europe or anywhere else in the world where i perceive money is abundant

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to judge people that live in extreme luxury because I deem and perceive they don't give a fuck about people that have nothing.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I do 'help others' when In fact, i don't, at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I must feel 'bad' and 'pity' for those that own very few stuff and don't have all their meals everyday and have old and ragged clothes to wear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear someday having to experience myself as a beggar or a bum in the streets having no place to go and no thing to eat

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am that bum and that beggar and all the people experiencing hunger and diseases all over the world.

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to pity those who don't own 'as much as me'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from everyone and everything in this life that I deem as being in lower position or higher position than me

I am one and equal to all beings here

I no longer fear losing all that I have, I no longer place value in this stuff, I take them as one and equal with me

I no longer judge that which I experience in my everyday world

I no longer fear losing it all in means of realizing who I am beyond this stuff and this luxury

I remain, no matter what no matter what I perceive to lose , I am here

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define myself within and as each and every single point written here


OH I stop here otherwise it will go further to world situation and that will be lengthy.. but firs what's in me. thank you and gabs for triggering this further enough


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