julio 03, 2008

Fearing loss of movement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing body movility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having a muscle injury near my knees that wouldn't allow myself to move freely and hurting, therefore, thinking I wouldn't be able to walk

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take body movement for granted

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to fear ever being paralyzed thinking believing and perceiving that then life would have no meaning

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear ever losing body movement because of an accident causing injuries that would let me paralyzed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear hospitals because being in one as patient means being sick, therefore, being treated with medicine or surgery.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having surgery done in my body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having muscle tissues injured around my knees, therefore, not being able to move freely

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take free body movement for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take everyday of my life for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define days by the kind of activities I develop in a day, therefore, existing within and as the idea of 'lost gone day' if I did 'nothing' apparently, not realizing that I'm only required to exist within and as the breath of life, nothing else, nothing less.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to get a treatment someday for knees because of my perception of having something'wrong' going on around the knees

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having 'bad knees' because of my granmother having a titanium fake knee to support her, because her own couldn't handle her anymore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my granmother dying because she suffers too much in this life and she keeps herself being alife with faith and trust in whitelight brotherhood.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying in a hospital

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that only dead could really stir my world around

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as intrigue of what is going to come around my world to release more. I am here, that's all I need

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being taken as a lazy person for not working or doing something 'productive' not realizing that therefore I'm placing myself in expectation of others towards me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to keep up with the expectations my family has placed on me for all my life, expecting me to be succesful in life, as 'succesful' as I had been all 'life' in school time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting sick

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing movement because of being ill

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not taking responsibility for myself if I do get sick

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowoed myself to exist within and as the expectation of something happening around me and not being able to 'know'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I have no choice to change what I currently do because at least it keeps me 'safe'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting my family down because my activity and chosen 'career' could fall in one second the moment I realize myself.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed mysefl as who I really am therefore, still playing the character in the matrix that I was meant to play.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear when catastrophes began hitting around .

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to go to SA someday because of this or that unknown explanations or excuses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I'm a spoiled little girl living in parent's home and that I live in my pink bubble where nothing hits me or touches me, therefore, thinking that I need something to come and hit me to realize that no matter what, I am here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to leave school someday because that would mean not living alone anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying without saying that particular someone that I like him and that he's not ugly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying without having spoken the truth of me to someone face to face.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think ,believe and perceive that the truth of me is what I was here on earth, not realizing that the truth of me is who I am in every breath of life as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to take full responsibility of myself in economical terms

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear growin up and having to become a 'full grown up' person.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to remain the 'little girl in house' so I can be supported by sisters and parents in all ways possible to keep me alive in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I got a nice comfy life and should take advantage of it, not realizing that this isn't oneness and equality at all... so I'll have to leave this all in order to be that.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself as one and equal with all because I still exist within and as separation in definitions of myself and comparing myself to other people in the world because of 'how I live' and how others live here or anywhere in the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire having someone visit me from PF .

I am self movement
I am stability
I am self trust

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