julio 01, 2008

Fiction as me

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to desire being like Claire Fisher, the character in Six Feet Under series

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to see myself as being similar to the character of Clementine in the movie Eternal Sunshine of a spotless mind

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire being like Darla in Fight Club

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire others comparing myself to these characters in movies and tv series

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being similar to fictional characters

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive myself as being a fictional character

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to desire having an interesting life to have many stories to talk about in order to perceive me as being more interesting to other people.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as being more 'experienced' in life than others, not realizing that all that I lived was pre programmed and I created it all myself.

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to desire being as special and unique as a fictional character

I forgive myself that I havent' accepted and allowed myself to realize that what I perceive myself to be is actually a fictional character created and scripted before I came into this world, and just walking in the script of my life.

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to desire being deeply emotional person so I could create a great character of myself in the movie of my life.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take certain picture presentations of characters in order to create my own 'personality'

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as jealousy when I saw famous women having this greatly paid acting jobs, being famous and getting to play 'great' characters in movies or tv series

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to idolize fictional characters, because of me wanting and desiring to be like them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear looking back at my past because of the shit and deception I may find in my past journals

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself for having always chained myself as an idea, perception of myself having fictional characters as points of reference of what a cool person is according to my beliefs and ideas.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge this self forgiveness list as being not important or to shallow to write down.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever participate within and as thoughts, feelings and emotions while watching a movie or any tv program

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be scared by 'horror' movies I watched

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to get sexually aroused while watching fictional sexual scenes in tv or cinema.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deem myself as having a life that could be turned into a book or film.. lol


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