julio 01, 2008

P a s t thoughts feelings and emotions 02 03

"I'm going sleepless and all i feel like wanting to do is paint and feel my soul while on the brush, while on my colored mysteries, the path to the unknown, to my true self... this way there's no need to have someone and, feel it is bursting out of me and it's this pouring... it's like i'm oozing expression" november 05

" My life's filled with expectations... I find beauty astounding and not to many can see that"

"Do we really live in a world that might actually be hell itself? I feel completely alienated living here: yes. It all seems so awkward, so horrible, so unbearable and still. "

"Once every while I can't stop tears from falling, why do we act like metal hearts watching daily life like this? You can't hide the suffering in everyone's face, we all know this world sucks even if you pretend to be happy, and they pretend not to know that happiness doesn't exist as a permanent state. How can me go living watching the disaster we're making every day with every move we make (...) I'm afraid to live, but it's here to stay awe can't ditch it out so let's live it" june 05

"Will I'll be famous? Not to be rich, but to spread the word in this jaded world?"

"I went back to my headphones, the girl and his father kept on smiling and the guy let go off the tube and pressed the button to step off. THe woman hid her scars and tears, the couple just smiled... other people came and it all changed. THe driver changed direction, it wasn't raining there. The storm had passed but it wasn't broad daylight, the road, the tears, the inner souls had all gone to bed, it was all over then. My house was near then so I took my coat and got off the bus, searching for a guiding light somewhere in the stars wandering why do we have to live this way, moments go by. "



I
forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that relationships were important in this life

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and alowed myself to think believe and perceive relationships were all in this world.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive art as a way out, as a saviour in my life

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deem art as being the only way I could express myself and truly be me

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I was too afraid to live and exist in this world because of the fuckedupness I saw in this world.

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to desire being good and leaving a print in everyone's heart.





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