julio 08, 2008

Real action ship

(from words symbols and scripting 2)

The ship/vehicle application where you think or believe that you are something 'more' according to being in a relationship, you get action meaning defining you as a 'sexually active person' and active in terms of being with someone, to apparently 'love' and 'experience yourself with' Being an active person within the social construct.

I've been there, done that.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within a relationship thinking/believing/perceiving that I was being more than myself alone because I had someone to be with

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within and as a relationship with someone because I perceived myself to be more 'active' in terms of existing within and as a social construct defined by the 'living together/getting along/coexistence' with someone with whom I could 'relate to' and 'be liked/accepted'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel 'more' than who I am whenever I experienced myself in a relationship, because of me being sexually active and therefore, thinking/believing/perceiving I was realizing myself' within that relationship, perceiving I was having 'more of life' than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take relationships as vehicles to get what I want and what I supposedly 'needed' to fulfill within me in separation of myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire having a relationship for long time instead of me realizing that I needed no fulfillment or mating with anyone else to realize me, to experience myself fully instead of thinking/believing/perceiving I am separate from anyone else, therefore desiring/wanting/needing 'someone else' to be with me

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire being 'supported' and 'appreciated' by someone else in separation of myself not realizing I wasn't supporting and appreciating myself as me as who I really am therefore seeking it in separation of myself in someone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that relationships were the construct that fucked me up the most because I gave away a lot of 'power' to others in separation of myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to delegate much power to others in separation of myself because I wanted to keep being liked and accepted by those beings in my world within and as relationship constructs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that real action ships meant being part of 'the loved ones' not accepting and allowing myself to love me, to appreciate me and to experience myself fully instead of needing/desiring/wanting someone in separation of myself for me to be able to experience and live those words.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define a relationship as an action ship, a vehicle to place yourself in a 'position' in social terms where you could now have another tag as 'girlfriend/friend/daughter/lover' etc. not accepting and allowing myself to only be me as who I am beyond any kind of definitions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that relationships were something 'hip' to experience and that I was 'lucky' founding one person with whom I could relate myself with, not realizing that in the mere act of chasing after, looking for, searching for that someone, I lost myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever think/believe/perceive myself as being 'tired' and 'fed up' with a relationship but continued enslaving myself to it because of 'tradition' or 'time spent' and thinking things could 'get better'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to depend on others within and as a relationship in order to be able to 'ensure' my existence, to be 'known' to be 'experienced' fully by someone else so they could acknowledge who I really am beyond 'superficial perceptions' of myself not realizing that I am not at all what I thought myself to be.

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to desire/want/need to be recognized and appreciated and acknowledged by anyone in separation of myself, instead of appreciating/recognizing/acknowledging me as who I am, as all, as one and equal instead of separating myself within the desire of being loved and appreciated by someone else

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be defined by relationships, shaping 'who I was supposed to be' and actually became that in means of fulfilling that particular someone with whom I experienced myself with, therefore, giving my power away with no awareness of it

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that relationships were the most normal thing to experience in this world, therefore, seeking and being in the expectancy of a relationship becoming a 'normal' thing to do and be.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to 'hope'/expect/wait for the ideal person for me to experience a relationship with, not realizing that I lost myself as who I really am the moment I put myself into hoping and waiting and wishing for someone to 'enter my world'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I could 'find myself' within and as a relationship

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive I could improve/grow/mature as a person within a relationship of any kind, not realizing that I was placing my own existence according to my experiences in separation of my self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my existence according to the kind and amount of relationships I had within my world, therefore, defining me with all sorts of adjectives on how I would experience myself within a relationship.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me as being loyal/trust worthy within a relationship

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being 'fulfilled and appreciated and loved' within a relationship

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being 'considerate and unconditional' within a relationship

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I actually 'grew' within a relationship

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to place myself in the future having a stable relationship with someone with whom I could 'share my life' with

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define sharing life as living with someone and being loved and accepted by that person, not realizing that I wasn't appreciating and accepting myself in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a personality within myself to be more liked and appreciated by males with whom I wanted myself to relate with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to shape myself, my experience and who I perceived myself to be within a relationship in order to 'fit' more with that particular person I was experiencing myself with, therefore, conditioning my self expression according with whom I was and experienced myself with

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself every time I didn't stand up as myself as who I really am within a relationship in fear of losing that person

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I was actually being enslaved by that person with whom I experienced myself with delegating my existence according to his wishes and desires and needs.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I 'needed' to go through relationships in order to 'find myself' and 'realize myself' within situations that are supposed to be experienced within relationships

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me as a person who sought for relationship in order to fulfill myself, to realize myself and to be 'complete'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use the word love within the construct of having a relationship, therefore thinking/believing/perceiving that I 'loved' and was 'loved' back by the people with whom I experienced myself within relationships.

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to hide in a relationship in means of not wanting to face myself alone, therefore, supporting the other person in hiding himself as well within our relationship while hiding and suppressing ourselves while being with each other.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to base relationships according to the sexual experiences I had with that person

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define a relationship as being a way to 'improve myself' and experience myself as who I perceived myself to be, 'testing' so to say my existence and the perception/idea/belief of who I was within and as a relationship of this world.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that only a relationship required commitment not realizing that I wasn't committing with myself in standing as who I really am alone, not needing anyone or anything in separation of myself to realize/live/experience me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that the 'longer' a relationship lasted the more 'used' you became to that person, therefore, thinking/believing/perceiving it is 'hard' to give up someone that you've been with for long time not realizing that I can stop in every moment I place myself within and as stopping a relationship as I did.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear losing relationships in this world because of fearing losing myself as what I have been accepted and perceived and recognized by, not realizing that all that is nothing but definitions that limit and constrict myself as who I really am beyond all definitions, as all as one and equal

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear standing alone in this world, not realizing that everyone stands alone in this world but hide themselves as having 'safe places' to be while in any kind of relationship

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deceive and 'lose' myself as who I really am while existing in a relationship with someone in separation of me as all.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from everyone else while existing in a relationship with another person, thinking/believing/perceiving we were 'all we needed' in this world, therefore separating ourselves from the rest of the world.

I no longer define myself within a relationship

I no longer desire having a relationship

I no longer wait and 'long' for a relationship in order to experience myself fully and completely

I stand as all as one and equal

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