julio 04, 2008

SF on breathing existing (first one in PF)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuck with myself around life not forcing myself to breath here as life in the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as fear and not allowing me to stand up for real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be fucked and remain in consciousness because of fear of not wanting to give up my familiarity and comfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not standing here in each and every moment as the breath of life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue having comfort and familiarity knowing that that isn't oneness and equality at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as fear of letting go of family, fear of standing alone by myself and take self responsibility in every single way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be 'clear' in the moment when SF is done, therefore, not watching the whole construct in its entirety and only pointing what comes in the surface.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only face myself to SEE now that Matti's there and giving the real raw, straight to the point, perspective of our whole situation.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to force myself into practical application of existing here within and as the breath ONLY.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize until now how I have kept myself existing within and as fears, therefore, not being able to stand up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress fear in standing up no matter what.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind fears, therefore not allowing myself to express myself unconditionally, as unconditionally applying self forgiveness as life.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to not put all the knowledge into application all the time, therefore realizing that I haven't even lived one single day as the breath of life as who I really am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place more 'value' into what we see as our reality as what we perceive and believe ourselves to be instead of realizing that the breath is the only way to go through it all, existing, living as who I really am.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fuck with my mind thinking self forgiveness and not speaking it out loud without any fears existing in me to do so when someone that I'm 'familiar with' is around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear existing as the breath of life while I'm with family because then they deem me as being 'angry, serious, pissed off' at something because of them being used to me very talkative person.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that all that idea/belief/perception of who I was within and as my family isn't who I am .

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear shedding my old skin because of fear or not being liked or appreciated anymore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate in expressing myself whenever I'm around people in my world because of fearing not matching to their previous 'preconceived' idea of who I am that I am not anymore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exists within and as fear, ot realizing that fear was the thing that had stopped me from posting SF in forum and not only in blogs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I have been fooling around too much during 'this process' not being fully aware of the breath and how I must exist here as the breath as the moment only.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to face myself to live and stop the mind every moment I give myself into thinking or feeling or becoming emotional. That is not who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide who I really am behind the mask, the preconceived idea/concept/belief of who I am and who I have been this whole life and through the entirety of existence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to alienate every single being in this earth thinking/believing/perceiving/deceiving myself to think they are 'something apart of me', not realizing that they are all a part of me as who I am as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be fooled by the mind every time I give into thinking, feeling and experiencing emotions in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what could I do or where could I go if I decide to break all bonds with family

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to understand it's not about running away, but facing what is here within and as me, not blaming my family for my recurrent giving into the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that it is my family's fault for me to keep myself chained in the memory, not realizing that I am here and must sort it all in the experience of myself in every moment as the breath here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose my 'personality' as who and what my parents and sisters and family and all people 'I know' have perceived and defined myself to be. I no longer limit myself to a certain expression as that which had defined myself to be.

I forgive mysel fthat I have acceptged and allowed myself to decire getting 'divorced' from my family just to give death to the idea of me, because of my idea/belief/perception that they are the ones that have lived with me all the time and have placed me in certain definition of myself.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to give myself into stopping who I was.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to be in consciousness but not of consciousness, because of me existing within and as the mind and losing the breath of life that is all that I truly am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I push myself into living more when I'm all alone, not realizing that then I'm suppressing myself as who I really am when I experience myself with people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress self expression when being surrounded by people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear expressing as self as life as all as one and equal because of losing my self definition and usual interaction as who I perceive myself to be, with all the definitions I had placed within myself into who I think myself to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I have lost myself while fooling around and not getting 'serious' about this while I thought I was being serious but not really placing it all into full blown application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that existing within and as the breath was something that would eventually come naturally, not realizing that I must force myself to be it, no matter what, no matter what's going on around me or where I find myself in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be hard on myself and feeling regret of not having posted self forgiveness before in the forum, and 'waiting' too long to do so

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that every moment is a new beginning, thus not to be haunted again by recent past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate and feel the 'need' of participating in conversations that I know will lead no where but spiral in the mind again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my 'charm' because that's how I've defined myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stick and desiring sticking to who I believe myself to be, not realizing that all the idea/belief/perception of myself is merely the mind constructing itself in image and likeness of consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize that existing within and as the breath makes me feel like an intruder/outsider around system land.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am a system thus I must embrace myself to be able to embrace all as one as equal, existing only as the breath of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that family perceives me now as annoying for only participating with bringing common sense and stopping the nonsense conversations they usually have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still participate in their world with thoughts and feelings and emotions because of me not existing within and as the breath, focusing in the breath as who I really am, existing and living, not thinking I live.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire sleeping right now, I am here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear expressing myself in fear of being judged by family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still put 'past marlen' mask on whenever I'm around my family, so they don't feel alienated from myself as I do from them

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to express myself unconditionally not fearing being perceived as 'serious/sad/angry/gone/bitter/mad' by family members and other people in my world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself and be perceived as 'bitter' for stopping all participation with thoughts feelings and emotions believing that I am still what I used to be around family and other people in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I am joy and that I had to express joy in every moment, otherwise I would be perceived as angry/sad/serious/mad etc.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my 'spark' when expressing myself because I realize it isn't me but the idea I have created of myself, therefore, it's not who I really am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still stick to rules of my house and society as how I must be and how I must behave.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire breaking through by doing the opposite, not realizing that then I would just be existing as the polarity of my own acceptance and allowance and wouldn't allow me to exist here as simplicity of life, as the breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not exist as life every time I lose the breath of life that is being all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving complete death to the idea/belief/perception of myself, giving away into a 'future moment' where I will eventually completely stop instead of stopping the mind here in every moment existing within and as the breath of life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value and importance to the idea/belief and perception of who I 'think' myself to be and what I have become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being accepted in my world anymore because of me standing up as life, remaining in silence as the breathe of life as who I really am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overwhelmed when going out in the world and seeing too much mind blabbering around

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to live the words I write in self forgiveness yet, therefore not yet placing myself into self corrective application fully and completely.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing all economical support from my family to survive in this world, therefore existing within and as fear of taking full responsibility for myself in every single way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to work to earn money and survive in life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing all comfort and familiarity I currently experience myself within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to start all over again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'fall' desiring having a sexual intercourse today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear posting sf in forum because of being judged for making 'not well structured' self forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire always being right

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear failure (fuick that's double fear)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear about failure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the entirety of my being having been shaped through fears in means of 'protection'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I need protection from this world and this existence

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that that which I fear is what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by fear instead of remaining as the breath of life only, without the mind dictating and directing how things are supposed to be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by the events and not self directing events.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire being in control of what goes around me, not realizing that it's not about being in control, having power over something, but realizing myself here as all, embracing it all therefore not having to be in control of anything in means of separation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for accepting coming to eat to this restaurant

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people around here as shallow/superficial and blabbering fools not realizing that I'm here, I'm one and equal to every single one of them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people creating only separation of the mind.


I am here, I direct myself, I stop

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