agosto 15, 2008

polarities and more

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become sad by seeing vendors outside getting wet in the rain by trying to sell their products to survive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for always having turned sad whenever I saw a 'poor girl' in the streets selling something or asking for money

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to the girl in that moment, not realizing I am equal and one with that girl

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel pity for that girl, not realizing I was experiencing pity for myself as one and equal to the girl

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself for having felt guilty every time I saw another girl around my age when I was younger but I was inside the car with parents and she was outside asking for money or selling something to live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harbor sadness and pity within me by experiencing myself around 'poor people' for few days living the way they do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from poor people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel and experience pity for people I see lying in the floor on the streets

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to buy something to people out of pity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself out of pity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad because of perceiving that 'I have the money' so ' it's my fault they are living the way they are' not realizing, they are one and equal with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear living in denial by existing in a 'perfect' life where everything is apparently 'alright' instead of being living the real world

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to exist and live life through and as consistent denial of what reality is about

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to think, believe or perceive that positivity could change the world, never realizing it was merely polarity point of what already existed as here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel discouraged to share in forums today

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose any 'sense' to share today

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see it all as 'too much' today

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in an 'anti war' manifestation not realizing I was provoking war by manifesting in an ANTI congregation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to kill another human being in war

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to declare war against another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to declare war against myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to kill millions by nuclear weapons

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as hate

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as love

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to relate myself to the word love with another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in any relationship formation in separation of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my self trust in another, therefore, separating myself from who I really am as all as one and equal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a polarity manifestation such as 'positivity' throughout my whole life, thinking, believing or perceiving that it could 'make a change' in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still exist within and as denial by continuing participating in the 'good, peace and calm' that I experience, not realizing, I am merely existing in the opposite, the polarity manifestation of who I really am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having existed within and as self hatred, therefore, not allowing me to accept me as who I really am here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I've fucked with myself tremendously by existing within and as 'the good side' of what is here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to face myself for having denied 'the negativity' the darkness that exists here, by wanting to see only 'the bright side' and lingering on to it so I wouldn't have to see what is really here

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever think, believe or perceive that 'life is beautiful'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe or perceive that I am not able to fully stop as long as I live in this world as it is, not realizing that I create my experience

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete against another for winning a 'first place'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe or perceive that life is a competition

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive this life is a competition where the strongest survives according to the 'adaptation' in this world

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to place value and self worth according to getting 'first places' and being recognized by others according to mind abilities

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as self value, self worth according to what my mind experienced and created, not as who I really am here

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to go through stress and worry by desiring and wanting to get in 'first place' instead of realizing that competitions are merely mind activity that enhanced the superior -inferior polarity that exists in this world

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to define me as a 'winner'

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I was born to be 'at the top'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I was made to direct others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify 'directing others' through self forgiveness, not realizing I was hiding my desires to direct others to 'do as I do'

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to desire others to be 'like me' and by that

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that if more were like me, everyone would be more 'effective', 'responsible' with what we all have to do and get done here, not realizing it was all mind's imposing power on to others

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to be flattered by comments of me being 'great, superior' than others

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define self worth and value according to the recognition of others on to that which I did, that which I was according to who I perceived myself to be

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to constantly and continuously desire expressing my opinion, not realizing this merely enhanced personality as that which is of the mind and therefore, ruled me

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to consider and define me according to the opinions/thoughts I could place in certain discussion or topic

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to define my worth and self value according to what others thought/believed or perceived of that which I expressed as a personal opinion, not realizing it was merely mind systems recognizing/denying mind systems

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to place self worth and value according to what others thought/believed/perceived about me and according to that, move me

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to only 'move myself' whenever I got 'motivated' by an outside source of me, instead of moving myself unconditionally here as me, for me

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to only think believe and perceive that what I did as art work is cool because of others recognizing and placing value on to it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uplifted whenever anyone made 'good' comments about anything I do/say/believe not realizing, it was all mind fuck

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I require the acceptance/recognition/value from others to 'keep going' and keep doing what I do

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to recognize myself and accept myself as self worth and instead, allowing me to exist within and as the expectation of someone accepting or denying my ideas/work to then, be able to 'move me ' accordingly

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to wait until someone approved/disapproved what I did/say to know if I was going 'right or wrong' therefore, allowing me to not exist within and as self trust in every moment and existing in polarity of mind as right or wrong

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to place much expectations on to myself, therefore, becoming sad/frustrated whenever I didn't achieve what I wanted.

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to desire/wanting and needing to achieve a certain 'goal' so I could be worthy of being here, so I could be 'someone' in this world

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I could get tired of 'trying too hard'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I have to continue being 'the best' at school because that's what and how I've experienced myself throughout my whole life, not realizing this is is merely wanting to hold on to past definitions that are ingrained within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stopping being 'good' at school because of all the definitions as self worth and value I've placed within me by the recognition of others as classmates and teachers on to me as being 'good student'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to despise school because of having to go there only to get a number as grade in the end of course

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever feel superior to any teacher at school

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that a teacher wasn't good enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever desire taking the place of the teacher because I believed and perceived myself as 'understanding better' than the teacher

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to be recognized by doing a 'good job' at anything

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the polarity of wanting and don't wanting to be recognized by people by what I do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to 'what I do'

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to ever declare that art school was 'my place to be'

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to limit myself as only being apt to be 'an artist' in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a dissident throughout existence by existing within and as denial and separation of what exists here as me as all as one as equal

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to participate in a revolution with theories, ideas or beliefs that supported polarity in this world

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire being a 'leader' so I could direct others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me as being apt to direct others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place a hope and expectation on a future moment when I could be able to direct others as one and equal

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to think, believe or perceive that I could 'keep' that which I deemed of 'benefit' for me as one and equal, not realizing all the 'good' doesn't really exist within me

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that I am merely but a polarity manifestation of what exists here. I stop I do not accept and allow me to define me according to polarity manifestations of the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I could use 'leader skills' in order to direct others, not realizing this isn't oneness and equality at all

I forgive myself that I ever have accepted and allowed myself to be 'moved' by the idea of being able to direct and 'guide' others in a future moment, not realizing this is a placement of hope and future moment that isn't here at all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire want or need to be guided/directed by others in order to 'live life'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I would be 'no one' if no one had recognized and placed value and worth to that which I am or that which I do, not realizing I was merely separating myself from here by wanting recognition from others

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I wasn't a normal mexican because of my belief and perception that most mexicans are mediocre and lazy

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as mediocre and lazy

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that being mediocre is merely a definition placed on to other by the mind's perspective of having to 'achieve' something

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to refuse the idea of being mexican

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to desire being for a foreign english speaking language country because of thinking in english

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to despise myself for being part of 'mexicans'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined as a mexican

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define people and me according to their nationality, their tongue and their culture

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as separation of myself as races, nationalities and gender

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to submit myself to a nationality definition according to 'general values' of what a mexican is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become sad whenever I see any other mexican or latin american not understanding what desteni is about

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to relate myself to people according to the tongue they speak

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to being a spanish speaker person

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to being a 'latin american'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to being a latin american woman

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me as a mexican woman

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to the language I speak

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define/identify me according to the words I speak

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that who I am is able to be defined by a language spoken

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place worth and value on to others according to the amount of languages they speak

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