agosto 09, 2008

regret

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as limitations imposed by myself by not knowing how to express in certain situations where I am able to communicate with others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think ,believe and perceive that I must care about how others are currently perceiving me

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see for myself what it is that is limiting me here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still exist within and as the construct experiencing fear and anxiety because of regret of the past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience the constriction and limitation of a system manifestation in my body by worrying about how I am placing myself currently in my world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry too much on how I apply myself, instead of unconditionally developing self trust as events unfold

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I kick my own ass at times

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that who I am is able to be rejected by anything or anyone by not 'making it'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be limited and constricted by my own self imposed limitations allowing my writing being influenced by the mind at the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I'm not able to function around normal people because of past definitions when i thought the same

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate on my words lately

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my self expression here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in much insecurities that haven't fully revealed here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in inner conflict when not knowing when to talk or when not to talk, therefore, filtering my experience within and as the mind instead of unconditionally expressing me in the moment

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to notice the subtle moments when I judge people by defining and constricting them into judgments of how they are according to what they speak of and how they speak of it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I stand up in 'bigger situations' that in more 'subtle' ones where it's about communicating with others as me, still existing in much fear of judgment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire seeing everything as being 'easy' not realizing I was merely hiding behind the 'positive' side not realizing what it really entails opening up a point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever condition SF statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I need the assistance of others to make it through

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having assistance and support as the forums that I experience at the moment.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret having named Mr. Bones, mr. boner not realizing what I was trying to do onto him

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret having offended someone by the use of their username in forum, trying to make a funny statement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear judgment and gossip from others towards what I write, not realizing this is doubting myself in words I place as me in forum

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to stick with the idea that bernard said once that we could fuck around in open forum, but not in private forum.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that i was offending myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret not being here the moment I write posts and words in forum before posting them as statements of who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak without awareness of what this entails

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what others may be thinking/saying about me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that my application isn't in self honesty, therefore, it's fucked

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as self trust in oneness and equality, and instead believe in trust coming from the mind towards what I may speak and project as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself towards another one as me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be clear from the starting point of placing words as me, as self forgiveness and instead, doing it out of fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear regretting not standing up in the moment events come up and I don't apply myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe or perceive that I fear existing in regret of things that I cannot SEE at the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate the application of SF in the moment, allowing me to exist as another time trap, another loop that will have to come back to face it again

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not apply myself in every moment of every breath, instead, indulge in personalities of the mind and judgments that have no point in self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my current application because of thinking that it's because of my 'animal support' such as the rattle snake

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to override the rattle snake effect taking it as me having to push harder on people to see

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as being using more words than necessary to communicate myself as here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see within my words what is still existing as personality of mind as what I perceive myself to be

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to completely remove all that may be perceived as coming from 'me' meaning, having a defined way of expressing myself in every moment that is required to do so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to write self forgiveness from the starting point of regret

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see what regret really is in every moment existing as it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe or perceive that I wasn't regretting anything at the moment, not realizing I regret even not regretting regret

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blind me from what is regret here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as self dishonesty without being aware of it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become pissed off at Regina for spilling bread

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry because of bread being spilt over and wasted, knowing that there are kids that are suffering of hunger in other parts of the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I must say I'm fine to everyone saying hi -

Me perdono a mi misma permitir y aceptar decir a todos los que me saludan que estoy bien en lugar de sólo decir, aquí.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry at Regina for all the bread crumbs spilt on the floor, not realizing she's a child in unconditional expression not caring about wasting or creating a mess on purpose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I cannot stand adriana, because of her bad temper towards her own daughter

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to embrace Adriana one and equal to me

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to only breath through it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger and remorse for someone else spilling and wasting food because of knowing that there are people fighting over food in the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that regina is being over protected and too spoiled, therefore, ruining here awareness of being one and equal to all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, at the same time, realize she gets scolded by her mother therefore I pity her for having to 'stand' her mother

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself by becoming frustrated as not being able to 'do' something for her situation to change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react whenever I see someone spilling and wasting food because of how I perceive that hunger exists in this world at the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry at food being wasted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my practical application here in self honesty in this cases

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to declare that 'I don't know what to do' when these cases arrive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire making Regina see, instead of allowing her see for herself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear creating a problem by standing up in self honesty here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire going to the polarity of my current behavior, now wanting to stop participating not realizing this is father matrix construct passed on to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that retreating is the way to go

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I'm able to assist and support someone not realizing it is merely but a perception, because I haven't unconditionally sorted myself in specific points

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame a child for spilling bread not realizing I am supporting starvation in this world by the mere abuse of overeating food

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that others are responsible for starvation by wasting food, not realizing I do this very thing without even being aware

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I 'should be angry' at someone for wasting food, not realizing that I am the one wasting food, i am them therefore, judging it only creates more and more separation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being a bitter person spoiling everyone's moment

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being getting into a major crisis.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being able to exist within and as a crisis

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel miserable for not having a job

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that I'm worthless because I haven't gotten a job

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that who I am is able to get angry

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as regret of what exists here

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to regret existing in fear and petrification because of thinking that I'm not able to practicallyh survive in this world, as I have always lived and eaten from father's money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing all I have, not realizing this is the only way to self realize me and be independent finally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing what I deem of 'worth and value' in means of self realization, not realizing it is only but mere illusions of separation that exist as me, to which I have placed value and definition in separation of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever be angry at corporations in this world for apparently ruling over the world, not realizing I created and manfiested this by submitting as a slave in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deem myself as worthless for being a slave in this world

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to think, believe or perceive that a slave couldn't self realize in this existence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel 'powerless' by considering how we've existed within and as slavery in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for desiring to get money fast and in an easy way, instead of developing it through time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire getting everything in the moment, quick and easy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a bunch of knowledge without placing it into application here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still not be able to be self sufficient, therefore, living out from parent's money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that there's too much shit in this world it is not even worthy living it here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid the money theme because of being maintained by father's money, therefore

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to establish my own way of income and earn money to be self sufficient

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for not having even placed into consideration making paintings for a living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend 100% of father's money to survive in this world, instead of doing something for myself to live here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being self supportive and therefore, being participating in accepting and allowing myself to be subdued towards others will by being attached by moeny

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be enslaved as not being independent in this world by not having my own income

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe or perceive that when I get my own income I would be free

I forgive myself that I have accepeted and allowed myself to be dependent on father to survive and exist here, to get everything from him

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my meals for granted every day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the family income for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my father's income for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take what nature gives us for food for granted here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a slave for money because of being attached to family having interest in getting what it's available in house, for getting money to survive in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny myself as a 'money requirer' not realizing that this world moves as time as money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be completely dependent of father to get money and continue living in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel powerless because I haven't had a real job experience of earning money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize where my self deceptions exist in fear of having to change my world, change who I perceive myself to be in order to sustain myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking self responsibility and applying myself accordingly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I am useless because I haven't had a job experience before

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad because I have instruments and I don't use them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad because I am not using what I own to make something out of it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysefl to not realize that I'm wasting what is here as me to create and express myself here as music

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to stand up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in this comfortability around, existing in a realitythat isn't oneness and e quality as it exists as a polarity manfiestation of what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I am worthless because I don't have a job.

I forgive myself that I haven't even tried to get a job

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a bubble of comfort and separation without wanting to realize this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belittle myself by thinking/believing/perceiving that my participation isn't required

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be 'required' by others to accomplish certain tasks, not realizing that this entails having a purpose in life which enslaves me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my own 'purpose' hiding it behind oneness and equality instead of just being HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire existing in a comfortable and clean environment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I am a 'clean person'

I forgive myself that i have accepeted and allowed myself to place importance into having a clean house, not realizing it keeps me from being here in the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a rejection towards dirtiness, because I wasn't allowing me to see the dirtyness in me,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my moment here while judging the environment according to how clean/how dirty it is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that being clean is something that is a quality and that makes this world apparently better

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire making the world a 'better place' by making it look clean, not realizing it is merely visual perception and isn't the real dirt in the world

I forgive myself taht I have accepted and allowed myself to desire existing in cleanliness around me thinking, believing or perceiving that this is the way to be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link cleanliness to harmony

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to numb my self expression as music because of thinking believing and perceiving that I'm not good enough at it

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to admire people as musicians because of me not embracing me as able to play music fluently as those musicians did

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as regret for not having used my musical instruments anymore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret having too many clothes without using them and not doing anything about it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become discouraged by seeing that there's no solution in this world apparently

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow me to keep clothes that I don't even use int he closet without giving them away to someone who might need it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain about this world without practically making something about it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret not acting and standing up when I know I have to do so and instead, retreat and in fear of being perceived as a crazy bitter person

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to erase completely the perceptions another may have of me because of who they perceive me to be and who I am here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking other's expectations and ideas about me down

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to victimize me because of not standing up in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself existing in much regret for being a 'follower' and not standing up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only, until now, see what really exists within me as a bunch of interests on getting what I want

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress what is here as me as the darkness within me in means of keeping myself as the 'positive' side which I was still existing within and as

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall back into the past as I go back to old patterns and behaviours of myself in past times

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to unconditionally releasing myself from the past and accepting me to live here in self honesty as who I really am here in every moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even care about what others may think about me here when I know it is not me as the past here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as time traps as this existence by existing within habits of the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enslave me to an everyday routine

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for not having seen the real shit in this world before, therefore

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to not see what existed in this world and hiding in light and love as god

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret having believed in god

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret having existed within and as the positive side of this reality in order to make things seem 'better'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret thinking that I could change the world by existing in positivity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that now I have to become someone else in order to get rid of who i was in the past, instead of realizing, it's about me here, existing, breathing, walking every moment in self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of my father speaking about my paintings in order to 'make as if' I did something of 'value' during vacation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysefl to react immediately in anger by hearing mother is talking about paintings with someone else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become uncomfortable when someone makes a remark about a painting I made

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not recognize myself, my own work therefore, fearing the recognition and value others see in it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react while being asked by mother to shut up talking about marriage, because of people there getting married too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my expression in the moment in fear of what mother

would tell me later, not realizing I did stand up and not allowed myself to compromise my words and my point of view in order to 'not hurt anyone's feelings'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to laugh at conversations that show different points of self deception therefore, only laughing at myself instead of stopping all and just remaining here as me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become angry by seeing how this woman treats her daughter,being too bossy with her

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pity the girl for having such a bossy mother

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become sad by seeing how she shifts in polarity from nice to mean in a matter of seconds towards her daughter

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become sad at seeing how social encounters develop

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed for my father trying to 'make as if' I'm 'the artist' painting the stuff in the house

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in separation towards the people that is also me that I deem as being too ingrained systems, therefore, not seeing how this world really exists as

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever try to 'fit' into this world and the social conventions by adapting me and creating me a personality that could be 'adaptable' to each situation and environment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fluctuate from one state to another, without realizing that this is polarity created by the mind to exist and generate energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having compromised my expression in the past because 'mother asked me to do so'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become completely apathic towards family/people's reunions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people with which I share the table with by their thoughts, ideas and beliefs, not realizing: they are all one and equal with me, therefore, I STOP judgment, there's no other way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see human behavior as completely preprogrammed, therefore, idiotic in a way, not realizing I am separating myself from it in a HUGE way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to despise who I have become while seeing me and others in this world interacting and 'living' here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge that man for being 'the intellectual' in the table

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge that guy for telling his daughter that she's the prettiest girl in the world therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge this guy thinking believing and perceiving that he is spoiling his kid into feeding and constructing her ego based on her image presentation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become sad at seeing how Regina can only tell disney stories and can't create one of her own

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive that kids are being extremely fucked up by media, taking away their unconditional expression, limiting and constricting it into prefabricated expression

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire tearing anyone's rules and expectations while I speak in order to make them see, not realizing, that they will see and realize for themselves one way or another

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself for having taken bullshit in the past and compromising me and my expression in order to fit the past image of who I was

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for making a compliment to the woman that made the food in order to 'say something' not realizing that in that moment, if it wasn't self expression, I merely compromised myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire making a point in each and every single word spoken, but later only realizing it's bullshit that I try to do this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret having made first communion

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret ever having trusted in 'god'

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to trust the white light channelers to guide and support my life, not realizing it was merely preprogrammed stuff to complete enslavement and deception

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pity women that get pregnant 'early in time' and so have to stop everything to become a mother

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to judge people and become angry whenever I knew some woman, related or non related, had gotten pregnant while being young and with a boyfriend.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become angry and frustrated by the 'stupidity' of people that got pregnant without desiring to be it, not realizing I sometimes also feared getting pregnant without being aware of it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people that are currently going to get married

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people that are currently going to have babies because of how the world exist and how they 'dare' to bring more kids into this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people getting into relationships of apparent 'love'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge that womans's believes on judaism and kabbalah

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge jews as 'rich fucks'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as separation towards anyone that is currently existing a belief of any sort such as religion

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge superstitious people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge this woman A. for telling her daughter that she will buy her a new tv in order to make her eat, make pee or 'keep calm'

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to be controlled and be shut up by mother or father or anyone for that matter

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to be subdued to anyone's will

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not know what to do while listening A. yelling at her daughter therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire telling her to shut up and not talk like that to her daughter

I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to not know what to do .

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel powerless by seeing the suffering of others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel 'beaten up' by seeing how people suffer from wars

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my current 'peace' for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my house as bed, food for granted

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take my existence here as breathing for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to suffer in order to realize what and who I really am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear seeing what this world exists as completely by being a portal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear seeing the totallity of myself as this existence as this world, what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear of future moments when hell will break lose even further on earth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to become hopeless towards oneness and equality by seeing how ingrained people are within their systems, not realizing that this is a fear, an installed preprogrammed survival manner for the mind to exist and generate energy to keep existing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire making a point in other's lives in order to make a 'correction' within themselves, to make them see, not realizing I am only imposing myself without having walked the point myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge sister's current relationships that have turned into marriage engagements

I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to judge other's desire for money in great amounts 'to be rich'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see money as a limitation, instead of realizing that I create my experience towards money, therefore If I separate myself from it, I manifest separation by placing too many definitions towards it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as regret/shame of how I experienced myself in the past being filled with uncertainty and fears

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that what I've done is able to control myself.

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