agosto 08, 2008

what is here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being imposing myself too much towards placing my point of view, in attempting to make others see

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create me this purpose of assisting others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I can be effective in doing this, not realizing that I must first self realize me in order to do so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret not speaking up when I saw something very dishonest from that woman and fearing causing a 'problem' with my family and her.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear causing problems with people in my world because of standing up+

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear changing my world as what is is now

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my actual dependence on what 'I own' as family and house

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exists within and as dependence towards this room where I am at the moment

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the place I am living at the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to sitting comfortably here in this sofa next to the window

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as dependence towards being sitting here without accepting that I am defining my experience of here according to where I am at the moment

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to be constant and stable within myself no matter where I experience myself in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience 'sadness' because I'm leaving this house soon

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to 'liking' this house

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be come so used to comfortability and safety that being at parent's home brings

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being kidding myself by improving within me and instead, fear being suppressing much within me still

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire not studying so I wouldn't have to go back to mexico city and so, I could stay here and live here comfortably

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take self responsibility in every moment of every breath, and instead, engage myself into mind cycles

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being perceived as being too 'pushy'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others won't like me anymore because of how much I've changed, not realizing, this is where I actually 'need' to go, s

I stand as all as one as equal no matter what, no matter what others may think/believe/perceive about me here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in fear of going back to school because of not wanting to lose my safety and comfortability here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire staying in the comfortability here, without having to travel not realizing this is fear of taking self responsibility for who and what I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that school won't last that much for me, because I will get bored of it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and constrict myself within the experience of school

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that by being self forgiveness I am saving myself in some way, not realizing, it's about facing myself as all, therefore, it isn't a pretty picture

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to conditon my self expression according to where I am talking and expressing myself , instead of being constant within myself as the breath of life here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear 'falling from the grace' of others, not realizing that it is merely systems judging systems about the systematic way of live we've experienced so far

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, somehow, regret not having paid attention to first ever desteni video I watched and it was Hitler's, because A. was with me and he decided 'It was bullshit'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret having submitted myself towards A's desires and needs in the moment, without me standing up for what I wanted or didn't want to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret having given much time of my existence to someone else in separation of me, meaning, to please them, to make them 'happier'

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to regret seeing how a. wanted to destroy a guitar just because it didn't sound 'cool' and so I spoke up but didn't leave him when I did want to leave him in fear of getting into a fight

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to fear getting into a fight with a because that would mean 'losing him'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to exist in much fear of losing him while being with him

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe his words when he said he cared about me, without me wanting to see that he actually only wanted my faithful company for him, whenever he wanted and I accepted and allowed that to exist as me

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to define me as an 'unconditional' friend, not realizing this entails submitting towards another one in separation of myself to whom I have established/created a relationship

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to abide with a. even though I knew how and what kind of person he was, because I wanted to 'take out' the 'bright' side within him, not realizing this was mere deception as he didn't even love himself to do this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as regret of having depended so much on him, spending my life with him

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret ever saying someone that I loved him, not realizing what that meant and what it entailed by doing so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret seeing how I've limited myself within such stupidity such as defining me as a 'cleaning freak' and thinking it is a cool thing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still desire sticking to that which I perceive as being 'cool' within me that could be useful to self direct myself as others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create of self realization a purpose within me, instead of being self realization as the breath, here, in every moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience uncertainty within myself because of not getting feedback from what I'm sharing in forums or asking, fearing I might be 'misguiding' someone instead of actually assisting someone as me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I'm 'going too far' and not being here as the moment as who i really am when speaking words in order to assist others as me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be certain of my words, but not certain of the effects of those words in others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire and require feedback from others to 'know' how I am doing

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that it isn't about how others see or perceive me, but how I am here in every moment of every breath, applying myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being imposing myself too much in forums or within my family, trying to make others see and being subtle in actually imposing myself towards others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire making a statement of what is here towards others to make them see, therefore, fearing I might be being a stubborn

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to the experience of myself as a stubborn

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe or perceive that because I could be perceived as a stubborn, people run away and reject me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making paintings with 'spiritual' symbols in fear of being influenced or defined by them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being affected by any kind of symbol by making it into a painting

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to laugh at other human beings for the way they behave as being 'too patriotic' with themselves

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to laugh at human stupiditynot realizing, I am laughing and judging myself within so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever having been proud of my nationality

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to be defined by nationality.

No hay comentarios: