octubre 23, 2008

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel anxious in dream because of not being able to tell my parents that I was going to visit A

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be 'concerned' in my dream on how to go out of home in order to be able to see A

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortable and not wanting to go to see A because of seeing that his mother had arrived

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be bummed by A's mother

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel anxious because of not being able to tell parents that I'm seeing A again

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear making A being waiting

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel and be infatuated with the idea of seeing A because it seems that he is quite fond of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I can be 'punished' for seeing A

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that mother gets to know that I'm seeing A again and scolds me or tells me what not to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be remorseful and retaliate towards my mother whenever she yelled at me and got angry for not wanting me to see A, therefore conditioning myself as to 'not see A again without her permission' not realizing that I'm not controlled by anyone's apParent authority

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be nervous and fearing parents knowing that I'm with A while dreaming of being with A hiding

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide what is it that I'm doing such as seeing A

OH that's difficult apparently because this would mean that I cannot hide anymore.

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