inspecting trust

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that 'I will go backwards' If I experience myself again with a male in my world

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to still be defining me according to who I was in the past and placing it as a 'background' for the future to come

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I still have 'much to live' with regards to my experience with another one walking along with me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give head to future projections and expectations of how I will be living and how the 'future' will be playing out for me, not realizing that in doing so, I'm not living here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having placed my trust in partners and past relationships because of how I deemed that 'they would never cheat on me' because I had placed trust on them, therefore,

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire 'being payed' with the same coin by me placing trust on people and wanting people to trust me back.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in being dishonest with others in an indirect way as being part of a cheating moment with another one therefore, breaking trust points within another as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only now see that I experienced myself as being safe within trust points in a relationship..

ok I'll expand this in my yournal.