octubre 16, 2008

Protection

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire protecting myself from 'external influences' that might've hurt me within emotions and feelings according to what I deemed as 'offensive' towards myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself for having developed my defense mechanism in means of protecting my self definition, my ego as who I believed and perceived myself to be ever since I was a child

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use mother/teachers as authority, or any other authority as a synonym of 'protection'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever think, believe or perceive that I need to be protected not realizing that this entails the very manifestation of fear within life as 'having to be protected' because of fearing being hurt, therefore experiencing the fears because of desiring to be protected

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having developed a 'hard shell' as a 'tough personality' just to use it as a shield towards people that could hurt me, therefore making believe-kidding myself into thinking, believing and perceiving/deceiving that in that way, I would show to others that it didn't affect me, not realizing that I was merely existing within and as a defense mechanism of the mind and suppressing myself as who I really am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a man for 'protection'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in security systems for 'protection' from possible assaults or robberies

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel 'safe' within a place that apparently has 'protection' as policemen and guards etc.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of life insurance the moment I think of protection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the very manifestation of 'protection' towards water, wanting to 'save the world' by not using that much water

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that in the very act of 'protecting' means that I am fearing, therefore, that I am merely surviving and fearing a future of being 'not protected- unguarded' therefore being 'vulnerable'-open to being hurt, harmed, etc

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be 'protected' towards any emergency that may arise, not realizing that in this I'm declaring: I am waiting for something to happen to me so I can be 'ready' for it

I forgive myself that I haven'ta ccepted and allowed myself to realize and see how much I am 'protecting' myself from the external world and in doing so, fearing the external world seeing it as a 'dangerous' place

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'protect me' from that which drives me to do things, therefore, being protecting my ego as self definition and self preservation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use protection as 'trusting someone else' in separation of myself here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define protection as safe sex

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being unprotected and therefore, being open-vulnerable to being harmed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having defended my beliefs therefore, protecting them within a cage where 'no one would enter' so I could keep myself within a personality definition of the mind

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself for having written my journals almost always in english so I could protect myself from my mother reading them

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to develop a 'bad handwriting' in means of it being a protection from others easily reading my school notes and journals and stuff because I didn't want to share

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'protect myself' from people in the street wearing certain clothes that will make me 'less vulnerable' to men's sights

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see parents as 'protection' as a safeguard that will 'come to rescue me' if I'm ever in 'trouble'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and define family as 'protection' as a back up if I need any help economically or as support

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in fear therefore, thinking believing and perceiving that I need protection from outside world

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that in existing within all of the manifested protection/defense system/mechanism, I am not living and I am merely defending, controlling and protecting myself within an environment because of fears that aren't even real but created by the mind as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use a cellphone as 'protection' knowing that I can call anyone if something happens to me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel 'protected' by having the keys to any house

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define a house as the manifestation of protection from the 'outside world'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to protect my ego within self definitions that I took as 'flag' to defend myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to protect myself from the 'hostility' of the world by adapting myself and creating myself in the image and likeness of the outside world, therefore being fearful and paranoid in my past

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to develop habits of 'safety' towards my own protection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'protect me' from illnesses by eating well instead of eating only to nurture my human physical bodies

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that many activities that I develop through the day are linked towards the 'protection'/defense mechanism that I have accepted and allowed to take over in situations and every day life, instead of realizing that I have to stop living in fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'protect' my self interests not realizing that within this I am merely protecting the ego of the mind as self definitions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire being 'protected' as having immunity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of protection as not being able to be harmed, injured or hurt in any way either physically or emotionally therefore not realizing that I cannot be hurt, harmed or injured by an 'external source' but only myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret not wearing protections to drive a bike

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the safety belt as a protection towards car crashes, therefore, manifesting fear of death

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that within the protection system I am manifesting fear of death, fear of 'who I am' within definitions of myself as a system.

I do not need to protect myself within self definitions as patterns that I've developed throughout my life as 'who I am' as being 'safe', 'secure' and 'protected'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for feeling 'protected' by having enough money in the shelf

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having existed within and as beliefs and perceptions of being protected by any kind of white light 'brother' in my past

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to use 'god' as a defense/protection mechanism, by placing trust in someone/something greater than me in means of protection, therefore, existing within and as fear

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to protect myself from being 'offended' or 'harmed' by using words that wouldn't create reactions on another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use protection towards myself in the most subtle ways and defining it as being 'precautionary' in precarious situations

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever carry amulets in means of 'protecting myself' from evil vibes or spirits or whatever lol

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to trust in something 'unseen' that would be protecting me from any external harm

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to protect my 'property' therefore, existing in fear of losing it

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that protection entails fear of loss as well

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe or perceive that I cannot survive in this world IF I am not protected in enough either physically or 'mentally' therefore, not realizing that life has been the manifestation of survival and defending ourselves within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in fears therefore, developing defense/protection as fat around the body

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to protect me as self preservation for the future, instead of realizing that all that exists is the moment therefore, all worries and concerns of the future aren't real and are system manifestations that I have accepted and allowed to become the very manifestation of myself within the mask of having 'precaution'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having developed a 'hostile and dark' personality in my teenage years because of realizing how 'vulnerable' I could be as being easily hurt within feelings therefore, using this 'tough image' as a shelter of people that would deliberately want to harm me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use a personality as a protection/defense mechanism in order to survive in this world and not feel 'exposed' so I could be attacked

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having used a created identity in order to protect myself, protect my 'inner me' from others

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to trust in the mind's defense mechanisms such as crying or expressing any kind of emotion or feeling because of apparently not being able to 'handle' the situation in that moment myself, therefore experiencing such rifts within me where I allowed the systems to take over me instead of me directing me in every moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for protecting myself in isolation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to first think of 'security' and ways of 'protection' before making a decision of going, making, doing anything to move myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel more 'protected' when I'm walking in the streets with a male

I forgive myself for having ever used males only as means of protection towards other people/other males

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe or perceive that a woman needs more 'protection' than a male

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use justifications in order to keep protecting myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see protection as the 'way of living' in this world because of existing in fear of the world

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to see having a 'backup' of money as protection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define money as a 'weapon' as a defense/protection mechanism as well

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'protect me' by going out with enough money for anything that may come up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me as being precautionary being, not realizing that this entails fear as a lifestyle

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to defend my defense/protection mechanism by creating it as a 'reasonable/logic' way of living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow patterns of parents towards protection because of fearing being vulnerable in any way

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to use masks as personalities of the mind in means of protecting myself from 'other masks' that I deemed as being superior/more powerful than me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire protecting my 'reputation' as a personality of mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe or perceive that I have to protect my family's interests as my own interests as the 'family name'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to protect my integrity within morality rules and polarity of the mind as how the system works and operates

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that using protection 'is the way to live'

Life is here as all as one as equal, thus life doesn't require any kind of protection as who I really am as Life isn't able to be harmed, violated, hurt, injured, robbed, killed or any other kind of 'offensive' behaviour/act towards myself.

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