noviembre 23, 2008

Art ID

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use art as a way of hiding from my surroundings, hiding from others and hiding from what is here to face

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear fooling myself while creating art instead of being certain of what I'm here expressing as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having used art as a way to identify myself within an opinion of myself in comparison to 'others' in my world as them not being 'artists' or art-makers, therefore, not being 'like me'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uplifted whenever I get a notification that someone likes the stuff as 'art' I make

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel dumb because of seeing painting as something that I do easily yet, receive congrats on a painting for 'making such a piece of art' and therefore, experiencing disgust towards the 'work of art' definition of something that I express myself within and as

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting recognition from others towards the 'art' I make because of not wanting to be categorized and identified with stuff I make such as art, without realizing that if everything is one and equal with me here then I do not have to limit myself to 'the art I make' in order to identify myself. There is no need to identify ourselves, but only expressing myself here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for thinking, believing and perceiving that I am able to be 'easily identified' within the 'art' I make because of having a certain 'style' therefore being 'unique/different/original' not realizing that it is merely desires to be 'unique/special' the ones that drove me before and taking me to desire making art

I Forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself for having used art as 'who I am' and 'what I was made for' excuse for me to identify and define myself as the very idea of myself within this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create most of my relationships within this world related to art instead of realizing that it is myself relating to myself just as any other relationship in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and think that people that are into art are more open-minded than non-art-makers therefore creating separation in thinking that the ones that create/make art are 'more' than the ones that aren't around any artistic expression. {

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire having an identification with a certain-specific way to express and experience myself through the 'creation' of art so I could make and define something as 'me-mine' therefore only creating and forming myself as opinions of 'who I am' within the act of creating and the products thereof

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an opinion as a certain 'choice' of which kind of art to make because of thinking that in doing so I will have a defined taste and expression to be more 'solid' within my own expression not realizing that it was merely sticking to rules and designations of 'what and how it has to be' instead of staying true to myself in every single moment in expressing me in every moment of breath as I am here.

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to seek for 'ways' to 'attain' a way, a specific method or process to express myself instead of realizing that I am here, I express myself unconditionally in any way being it through art or not. I do not accept and allow myself to define what I do as 'art' or 'not art' as everything I do as an expression of myself is here in awareness of myself, therefore, it isn't a concept, it isn't a category.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having fooled myself in thinking that I had to take an external substance such as drugs in order to get the inspiration to create art or to be able to 'channel' a certain external influence received from another 'unseen' dimension therefore merely wanting to be special and having a 'talent' that could define me and make me 'more' than others

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to identify myself as someone 'special' due to my likings and preferences and choices to create and make art

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel 'proud' for being identified as 'an artist' or as someone that 'makes art'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the word 'artist' to define me as who i am and think that it is MORE than being anything else in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire and define me according to superiority of mind as definitions and opinions of myself as 'who I am' as an artist, instead of realizing that I'm not a definition, I am not a concept, I am not a category, I just am Here

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