noviembre 02, 2008

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in fear towards parents as authority, therefore existing in inferiority towards them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear them knowing that I see A because of them being able to 'ban him' out of my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that they are able to tell me what to do and what not to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in anxiety whenever I know that 'I must get home' and I'm with A even though I'm few houses away from my house

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear 'standing up' to my parents and allowing me to be more free as being able to go out with whoever I want to go out with

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel nervous and anxious and fear even telling my parents about me being friends with A again.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that others are able to be an authority to me, not realizing that it is merely my perception of parents as authority over me and my decisions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear 'affecting them' by knowing what I'm currently doing and going out with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my parents might tell me that i am not able to see A ever again because of 'who he is' not realizing that no one is able to tell me what to and what not to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear them not allowing me to go out at all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be paranoid about this whole situation without realizing that If I don't stop the fear towards this, it'll manifest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be nervous whenever I know that 'my parents don't know that I'm here' therefore, being anxious looking at cellphone to see if they have called me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get quite anxious when knowing that it is almost 'time' to go home, therefore, fearing they might call me and wait me outside the door

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be disgusted by being overprotected

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be overprotected

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to submit to my parent's will towards who I am supposed to be with and who am I supposed to be with not

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still be carrying the 'traumatic experience' when they saw me with my ex boyfriend G. and threatened me to not allow me to go to mexico city if they ever saw me with him again

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be manipulated by fears of 'not being able to do something anymore' because of not obeying to my parent's rules and wishes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be conditioned by fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be free because I'm not able to go visit A whenever I want without fearing and having to make an excuse to tell my parents

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being disliked by parents if they know that I'm seeing A again

I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to lose 'my parent's trust' because of them knowing that I've been lying to them to go see A.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel 'good with myself' when I do what my parents want me to do and stick to their rules

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rebel against their rules because of fear of what they might 'do' in order to ground me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making my parents mad and angry for them knowing that I'm seeing A. again

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that all their disapproval for A. has nothing to do with A or me but with themselves

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel 'tied' to parents because of 'doing what they want me to do'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure to stand up towards my parents and tell them that I'm seeing A. again

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear 'defending' myself if they start nagging about me seeing A. again

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be affected by what my parents may think If they know that I'm seeing A. again, fear that they think I'm 'stupid' for "going back" to him

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that all this has nothing to do with my parents but with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel frustrated for not being able to tell my parents where I am really going to because of them not being able to know that I'm going to see A. because of them hating A.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel 'locked' by not being able to go out with who I really want to go out with

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear 'what might happen to me' if they know that I'm seeing A. again

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I'm not able to tell the truth with regards to my current situation with A. towards my parents because of them not 'understanding' and therefore not being able to be open about this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in plain fear to speak about A. towards parents in fear that they won't allow me going out anymore or will start calling me every hour to know where I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be frightened of what might happen if parents know that I'm seeing A. again.

I forgive mysef that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others view's on my decisions.

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