enero 10, 2009

Sf persona

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me according to my habits

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to my personal interests

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to the friends I've made in my life as being 'similar' to myself, therefore being mirrors of what exists within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to a created and programed personality as who I am and therefore, creating myself in the image and likeness of words that would define me as being 'not ordinary'

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to take drinking as a point of being 'normal' doing what everyone else was doing at my age meaning teenage years

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire being as 'normal' as other kids in order to fit in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from alcohol into taking it as something that would merely 'get myself loose' and being liked and accepted by others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that by showing that I was resistant to alcohol, I would get people to admire me - lol what a mindfuck - and therefore think that I was cool just because I didn't want to be tagged as a nerd

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear being identified as a nerd my whole life

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to have the need and desire to prove myself as 'cool' so i wouldn't get judgments of being 'nerd'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear listening the definition of nerd being applied to myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to do anything that I could do so I wouldn't be tagged as a nerd

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever be affected by a tag, a name and definition such as a nerd because of who I wanted to be towards others

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel cool whenever I was recognized by others as being so, specially by the 'popular' guys

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel cool when being friends with the most popular guy in generation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make fun of preppy girls in their faces and enjoying them being insecure from what I told them

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to place effort into being a 'unique' personality, into developing a persona of the mind as an ego that would be defined as apparently not being an ego - but being constructed based on how NOT to be an ego, still created and defined by myself as the mind -

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire being 'outstanding' as being identifiable within

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist talking with people that I do not agree with not realizing that this is pure separation from the mind as opinions and beliefs

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own imagination as being able to create pictures of undesired events that could happen to me, such as falling again and hitting on my teeth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by memories of how I used to live my friendships and relationships and think that I was 'happy' then, not realizing I was merely living a lie

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