abril 30, 2011

Dream: Dying on Fire–Self Forgiveness on Fear of Dying in flames

So I had a very awkward dream wherein I would start catching on fire – I would suddenly start smelling something was on fire, clearly burning and I then realized it was me starting to burn. This entire scenario was kind of hectic as there was a lot going on, it didn’t seem I was in an unknown place, it was more like being in my house yet I faced this point of starting to get burned, this was facing myself within death again.

 

I’ve had previous dreams of dying, one of them I simply accepted as it was in a car crash and I simply breathed and knew that was going to be IT – yet, dying catching myself on fire wasn’t precisely an easy one go through. I experienced fear, panic  - I saw myself within the dream really horrified and I could feel myself burning completely, it wasn’t cool at all. I woke up from that dream and I realized that I was in my house, and that I wasn’t burning – yet I heard a lot of noise and still wondered if there was something ‘on fire’ in the kitchen – meaning, I woke up still afraid and still participating in what had been going on in the dream. I usually immediately turn on my bed lamp when this type of dreams come on, as I had an entire history of being afraid of the dark – lol right now everything is pitch dark except for this screen as the light is out in the entire neighborhood – and the moment I turned on the lamp it simply didn’t go on! it seemed as if it had burned out – later on I found it had only been a bit unscrewed which was weird but anyways – I went back to sleep yet found myself feeling ‘defeated’ by the amount of fear and horror I experienced while feeling myself being burned alive, like igniting myself – kind of how instant combustion would be like, I experienced that.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying on fire

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being caught up in flames

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself being in panic, horror and ultimate desperation due to seeing myself being caught on fire

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying in flames

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying while existing in extreme heat

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define dying in flames as dying in the utmost terror and horrific way I could ever experience

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘defeated’ the moment that I gave into fear and desperation due to seeing myself dying while being burned alive

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in petrification the moment I saw myself dying in flames.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to now fear dying on a fire due to the experience I had in my dream

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear now having to go through the experience of dying being caught on fire due to the extent of fear and desperation I experienced in my dream, so that now I can ‘transcend’ my fear.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I simply have to walk through death the moment it comes, not giving into fear and resistance and horror, but realizing it’s the last moments wherein I simply have to breathe and let go.

 

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