marzo 22, 2012

The-baiting

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a tendency to ‘jump into conclusions’ when having a discussion/ replying to comments wherein I read too fast without taking the necessary time to re-consider the best way to reply in a way that is supportive, instead of skipping looking at words that might generate another unnecessary dimension within the response.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to ‘get over with a reply’ wherein I am doing it as a point of avoiding/ fearing conflict because of how I have judged ‘debate’ as something that is utterly egotistical, instead of realizing that if placing common sense perspectives is all that is replied, I am in fact able to support myself to support others to see what points of separation are existing within their words, which is walking in the moment with the necessary patience to consider another’s context and perspective

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word  and action of ‘debating’ as something negative based on the associations with political debates and the general ‘negative’ experience toward them, judging them as ego-trips that propose no solutions other than beating each other

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word debate as a winning/ losing game wherein all words are usually said in order to ‘beat the other’ instead of placing common sense that is actually supportive for myself/ another in equality

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get ‘annoyed’ when engaging into a ‘debate’ which is actually stemming from the insecurity of replying in the most suitable way wherein I fear that I won’t have the right words to explain myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a certain resistance as fear of being scrutinized when replying to people that are apparently ‘experts’ on the topic

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself, instead of realizing that when placing common sense perspectives, there is nothing to ‘doubt’ as I am not speaking in the name of a personal preference/ interest, but speaking/ stemming from the realization of what is best for all

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge ‘debating’ as a positive activity, wherein I get a kick out of ‘beating another’ within using common sense

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that I enjoy debating mostly when I see that there is no way to ‘beat common sense’ and in that, get a positive kick out of it, instead of remaining here as breath, absolutely, directive.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to ‘end the conversation’ as soon as possible just because of seeing it as a waste of time to give continuation to a conversation, without realizing that within this I am in fact hiding the fact that I do not want to engage further in fear of having to expose myself in any way.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to ‘reply as fast as I can’ in order to ‘get over with it,’ without realizing that it is actually through sharing/ engaging that someone could, slowly but surely, open up to see and realize the common sense that is being presented.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘feel good’ about having been able to ‘pull-through’ a debate with rather inquisitive beings, without realizing that it is not about good or bad or feeling a particular way, but supporting yourself.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to judge another’s words immediately and jump into conclusions, I stop and I breathe. I realize that my desire to ‘get over with it’ by replying asap is only to stop having questions being asked, and fearing I won’t be able to reply in a suitable manner.

I direct myself fin common sense wherein I realize that no ego is actually driving the point, but that which I see and have realized is what’s best for all.

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