julio 30, 2012

108. ‘Like Father, Like Son’

Equalizing communication by letting go of the fear to point out the patterns that we have cycled ourselves as from generation to generation through communicating about it, explaining how we have practically assisted ourselves  to no longer comply to what we have deemed as ‘fuckedup irreversible inherited patterns’ that we would only ‘cope with’ throughout our lives, trying to find some kind of pride through living them out in and throughout our lives.

This is a situation that has actually occurred again recently wherein I am having a meal with my parents and my father’s anger comes up as a point to discuss about – the point I am self forgiving is the time when I gave into his reactions when opening up the point to eventually comply to the fear of ‘hurting him’ or being ‘too harsh’ in the moment, which was essentially giving into the mind to ‘smooth things out,’ instead of realizing how I was in fact able and capable of supporting myself to breakthrough the fears and be self-directive in the moment.

However just a week ago I saw my parents and the exact same event took place and this time I was able to break-through the points and get an actual confirmation of it being beneficial for him this time, which is definitely cool.

So this is to self-forgive the past to ensure I do not step again on it ever again as I see and realize that we can in fact break the chains of the past by standing immovable as one single point: communicating here as breath, in common sense, not giving into reactions but continuing constant and consistent as breath itself within what we are conveying to another.

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define a point of congeniality with another such as ‘my father’ based on both of us playing out the exact same characters wherein were are in essence defining ‘who we are’ according to being irritable, which I would take as something to be ‘proud’ of, never even considering how in this very acceptance of myself being equal to a father-pattern is in fact the cycles of abuse that must be stopped no matter what.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever take ‘pride’ in being/ becoming like my father, which is essentially an incendiary person that would be known as an ‘angry person’ all the time and as such, creating a reputation of being friendly yet highly irritable if things don’t go my way –

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a negative experience within me when I perceive that my father is not listening to me explaining why we must stop being simply angry with ourselves and toward the world, being easily ‘ignited’ by any little thing – without realizing that in this desire I am separating myself from simply sharing how I have supported myself, why I am supporting myself and as such, provide the very basic tools to do that for himself as well.

I realize that wanting to change another in order to stop our cycles of abuse, is imposition and it’s wanting to change others before doing this unconditionally for myself – therefore I can only share the path that I’ve walked as a means to show how it is absolutely able to be done and how we don’t have to condemn each other to just play out patterns from generation to generation, and instead learn how to support ourselves and others to do the same.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that my father is not wanting to listen to me about stopping his anger and general instant-ignition with any point that may go wrong in his world, and accordingly start diminishing my expression wherein the moment I perceive that I am not being listened, I start considering that I must simply keep quiet and stop talking altogether.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a perceptual observation of him becoming pissed off and uncomfortable when being in a situation wherein we are directly talking about our anger patterns and as such, believing that I should stop talking just because he is becoming very uncomfortable with the entire situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear and resist getting myself and another into a seemingly ‘uncomfortable situation’ which is exposing each other’s patterns to take responsibility for them, without realizing that it is uncomfortable because we had never talked about these points before – therefore, I can continue pushing the point in common sense without being aggressive or too incisive, but instead realizing that we can only become aware of our points to correct by talking about it, by sharing and exposing them – therefore that it is not to be taken personally, but simply realized as points that we can now take responsibility for and walk in common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in such a moment, change the topic in order for him to not go into an absolute lockdown of not speaking and remaining quiet, which is actually me ‘giving-up’ to continuing speaking about relevant points such as patterns that we have to take responsibility for, wherein the moment that I changed the topic, I gave into his mood, made it ‘my own’ and as such consider that I should not ‘spoil the time’ for him – which is giving-up self-direction and comply to my fear of ‘making him have a bad time’ or fearing making him feel uncomfortable, without realizing that we just had to continue expanding on the point to walk through the resistance and get to the core of it through establishing a proper back and forth communication.

An update is that I recently went through the same situation – restaurant, being with both my parents and my mother bringing up the point of anger again, and I proceeded to share myself, be directly and specifically pointing at the patterns with specific example that I’ve been able to walk for myself wherein I have clearly stopped going into the anger possession, and instead supporting myself to remain here as breath. This time, he did remain quiet, but listened carefully; I only had to bring his attention back to seeing me and not other tables once, which is quite a cool thing lol considering he’d be mostly looking around whenever we would open up the point. And, I got a message from my mother recently which is like a week after we met, and she said how he’s been doing much better now with his anger and that’s very cool – all I required to do is not allow his evasiveness in communication to affect me in the moment of speaking, but continuing being directive and share practical examples related to breathing, self forgiveness and realizing that every time that we give into anger, we are in essence abusing our physical body, consuming our physical substance in the name of exerting one single experience that is detrimental to all, which is anger. Therefore, I can say that I’ve walked this point into correction in a way, however it is to apply and live it with everyone else that we may notice are deliberately wanting to ignore a point of communication through ‘locking down,’ which implies that there are points that are not being willed to face in the moment –thus we share our practical examples of how we have gone through the same thing and how we have supported ourselves to eventually walk out of the pattern into self-correction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assess someone’s experience when communicating with them and beginning to worry about whether I am being too incisive, too frank, too direct, too harsh and within this giving into their self-generated experience as the mind in order for me to then go into a similar lockdown wherein I change the topic in order to remain within the ‘safety bounds’ of communication, which is actually further limiting our ability to actually transcend points by facing them in a moment of communication which is, according to what I have realized so far, the best way to support ourselves to face who we are and have become as our mind and as such, give ourselves the opportunity to establish ways to support ourselves, to correct ourselves and start living, as I see that this is the way to go in order to create a collective agreement as humanity to be and become human beings that care about life and are willing to stop perpetuating the cycles of the past as our ego, as our characters and personalities of self-limitation and degradation.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself for having felt compelled to stop talking to my father whenever I saw that our communication would lead to conflict or confrontation out of existing as ‘fear of conflict’ which has become one of the usual obstacles for ourselves to actually be vulnerable and communicate, because we would be so used to simply going up in flames = getting angry and not really supporting ourselves to face the pattern, realize the trigger points and establish solutions, but because we would always give into each other’s incendiary moods = we’d just give up communication and believe that there is no way we can sort this out and as such, simply giving up communication altogether, which is unacceptable as I see and realize that it is within this acceptance and allowance that we became characters supporting each other’s characters and as such, remain in a character world where we believed that communicating about our problems and finding solutions for them was simply ineffable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for ever having feared ‘ruining’ a moment with my father or anyone else when communicating due to exposing our mind, the pattern playing out wherein because of seeing others’ reactions, I’d also go into a lockdown wherein backchat emerges such as ‘I don’t want to continue speaking any longer either’ and essentially, giving up the communication, instead of actually walking through the conflict, point that is emerging and following through till we can both see the solution and get to a practical solution in order to establish ourselves as a self-directive being that will work with self’s own patterns, instead of taking it personal and just complying to making of a moment of communication a ‘frustration point’ between both parties with no resolution.

Self Corrective Statements:

When and as I see myself thinking, believing and perceiving that I have ‘something in common’ with another based on playing out a similar character of self-limitation, I stop and I breathe – I realize that taking ‘pride’ in such aspects such as the saying ‘like father, like son’ is in fact the type of thinking that has gotten us to not move as humanity and actually changing into a best for all living realization as a process of self-correction, because we simply accepted our copied patterns from our parents as ‘who we are’ and believing that we had no power or say about it whatsoever, and we could only ‘deal with it’ and ‘cope’ with the inherited patterns, which is the same as accepting this entire world system of money as something that we could not ‘change’ at all, but only try and find ‘better ways to deal with it,’ which is unacceptable because it is in the very acceptance of this world as it is and of ourselves as ‘we are’ that we are simply running as finite cycles of fuckup patterns that in no way support life in equality at all.

Therefore I see that the practical way to identify our patterns in relation to our parents is talking them out and clearly sharing ourselves as the example of what is possible to correct and to stop within ourselves within a process of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Application, wherein we can in fact make the decision to no longer be bound to ‘inherited patterns’ as a cross-to-bear, but instead taking such points/ patterns as self-corrective realizations that do require our will and decisive action to stop and walk into/ as a correction based on what is best for all.

When and as I see myself ever taking pride of any positive/ negative pattern inherited from my parents, I stop and I breathe – I realize that defining ‘who I am’ according to my parents is still limiting my expression and ability to live – thus I walk the patterns that I see and realize I have copied from my parents and ensure that who I am is standing here as a self-created being that can take points that are beneficial as part of one’s self-application, yet in no way define ‘who I am’ according to being someone’s daughter or having this particular ‘inheritance,’ but instead support me to realize that even if we have a certain predisposition to act and be in a particular ‘positive’ way, I require to be self-honest about my application within such traits and ensure that I am in fact aligning myself at all times as what’s best for all, instead of using it as a form of ‘superiority’ toward others.

When and as I see myself wanting to share myself based on a desire to change another, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I cannot possibly speak and communicate only from the starting point of ‘changing another,’ but that I have to in fact share my own process of self-realization about my own patterns and points that I am walking and taking self responsibility for, this is to ensure that who I am remains here clear, devoid of any secret agenda such as wanting to impose a change upon another, without such being making the decision for themselves based upon the evidence of what is possible to be and do, which is the example I am able to give and represent as being the living example of how it is absolutely plausible to stop ‘the sins of the fathers’ within ourselves and as such actually start living for the very first time in our reality.

When and as I see myself wanting to give into another’s ‘negative mood’ wherein I am perceiving a resistance to speak, talk and interact stemming from another, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the only way to actually walk through the resistance is opening up the communication about the resistance experienced in the first place, as that’s how we ensure that the backchat is exposed and we are thus able to stand ‘on the same level’ with any other being according to walking through a point of resistance from the get go.

When and as I see myself having the idea, belief and perception that ‘I should stop speaking because I am making another uncomfortable,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is just another way for us to eventually keep ‘our mind as is’ wherein we are not supporting anyone but only the ego of the mind that takes things personally and creates any form of silent or outrageous tantrum as to not have to face our creation and our patterns in our face.

I direct myself to remain constant and consistent within and while communicating with another, without giving into another’s experience and as such, supporting me to instead find various ways of communicating that can be more ‘appealing’ to another to engage them into the communication as well.

When and as I see myself wanting to ‘change the topic’ because of fearing conflict in a conversation/ point of communication – I stop and I breathe – I realize that within this fear of conflict I had in fact only secured my own ego and other’s ego, leaving them intact in order to not have to actually open up the points that we can talk about and discuss with each other as a form of self-support. I realize that we are perfectly able to support ourselves to see each other’s patterns, mirror ourselves on others wherein we can in fact start being and becoming self-supportive in any moment we have of interaction as I realize that I am able to decide from here on ‘who I am’ and ‘what I am’ in any given moment of interaction with others, wherein I have the ability to stop being just another compliant character and instead, show the way of how we can really communicate as equals, beyond any character such as father, daughter or any other role that we may wear toward particular human beings, as I realize that change begins within me, and as such, I am the only one able to set the first stone in any given moment to establish a point of communication in equality and common sense, no matter ‘who it is/ was’ in my reality.

When and as I see myself taking another’s reactions into consideration as a point to define my own communication and words to them as going into self-suppression, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am able to communicate with another without having to diminish or lower my voice or ‘change my attitude’ into suppression just to not make them uncomfortable – as I realize that we have built a world wherein because of this fear of making another uncomfortable because of exposing ourselves as who we are as the mind, we rather ‘play safe’ in our communication which is how we have maintained a system of abuse in a blind acceptance and allowance, because we never dared to speak up and expose the patterns that we had accepted and allowed as ‘who we are’ without a question, which is what is relevant to expose and share now that we are able to see and realize how we are the creators of this world and as such, it is ourselves that must take the responsibility to ensure we are no longer perpetuating the limitations of the past, but instead become self directive beings that are willing to support themselves to step out of the self-accepted lie as a character that only ‘plays safe’ in communication.

 

I commit myself to challenge myself and others within communication in common sense, In means of exposing our own ‘reservedness’ as an actual fear of conflict and eventual ‘lockdown’ that we use to defend ourselves whenever we feel the ‘tide is too high,’ without realizing that in such point we are in essence complying to each other’s character an not doing anything about it. This must stop and it begins within and as ourselves.

When and as I see myself fearing ‘ruining’ a moment for another due to the topics and/ or point of communication that I am brining up, I stop and I breathe. I realize that whenever I have feared confrontation and/ or conflict, I end up being frustrated myself because of having complied to a mind that limits itself and within that missing out the opportunity to support myself to transcend and walk-through the fear of being ‘imposing myself onto other,’ which is not so in fact when all that I can do in reality is speak, share/ communicate with another in order to bring up points that will be up for them to either take or leave, as I realize that I cannot change anyone – however I can definitely present the practical solutions to walk a point into/ as self-correction.

Therefore, I realize that I can use any moment of communication with another as a window of opportunity to share myself, my process and what I am currently being/ doing with and as myself, without any limitation as I see and realize that if communication is based on common sense and sharing myself as the moment, what I am at the moment is walking process, walking my own self-correction and as such communication will invariably be about it, which Is very cool as this is an opportunity we all have to expand ourselves: sharing ourselves as our process without creating a need or want or desire to ‘change another,’ but simply sharing with others what is possible to be and become once that we stand as equals to ourselves as our mind, once that we get to know ourselves as our mind and as such learn how it is possible to go changing the way we live in this world one by one, no matter ‘who’ we are toward one another, self-honesty as the realization of who we are as one and equal comes first at all times.

For further support, visit Desteni 

Walk the Desteni I Process which is the key to walk a life of self-correction and no longer be bound to the Sins of the Fathers ever again.

Blogs:

 

Great interviews:

 

107. ‘If I don’t get enough attention, I stop sharing myself’

Attention Seeker’s Demise and Parental patterns of aloofness

A point of communication with parents is when we try and get their attention in one way or another, when we try and share ourselves and what we find is ‘meaningful’ as a way to spend some time with them. Expectations are built, the moment arrives and all one can be thinking about is ‘please let them like it, let them just for a moment stay calm and quiet, no phones ringing, no distracting chatters, just focusing for some minutes on this.’ However, once a pattern exists within the parent of, for example, being always ‘on a rush,’ there will be little to no patience to watch/ walk something that takes more than the 30 second attention span, eventually going away or finding any excuse to not remain in the moment. Children take it personally and from there a decision is made in anger and retaliation: ‘I swear I won’t ever share anything I do with him/ her/ them again.’ And so we grow up, keeping our stuff to ourselves in such victimized state from that one single moment where attention was not given as the child requested it.

This is a true-story and a repetitive pattern that I disclose here: a broken moment of communication where even words were not required to be expressed, but was just a moment of co-existence in the same room, watching a piece of film that had been recorded in means of slowing-down to reality. Yet existing in that point of expectation to ‘get their attention’ – in this case – my father’s and for him to not be impatient enough to watch this entire video; I essentially set the tone for what would end up being just another predictable ‘walk-out’ of the scene, which I took personally and once again confirming in my mind ‘I won’t share my ‘creative stuff’ with my parents again’ which became a safe way for me to not see how I also was wanting and desiring their attention the way that ‘I wanted it.’

It takes two to tango – however, a message to all parents is that if children are not supported in order to understand how not to take their actions/ reactions personally, consequences that can ensue from such walk-outs are a definitive crack in any form of incipient communication that could have been developing between the child and the father/ mother.

 

“I commit myself to SHOW that PARENTS in fact understand Nothing of PATTERNS and are the Root cause for All Suffering and Inequality on Earth.

I commit myself to SHOW that PARENTS are the PATTERNS that INFACT Create the CHARACTER of this WORLD.” – Bernard Poolman*

 

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself for wanting to get someone’s attention to ‘see my stuff’ and in that moment already going into the fear of ‘they are not going to like it/ they will simply stand up and leave/ they will say they like it out of compromise’ and essentially self-sabotaging that single moment of inviting others to see something I’ve done with future projections of failing at getting their attention, which is how and why I have become resilient to share myself, in fear of not being ‘welcomed’ the way that I expected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to share myself with the condition of ‘it must be praised/ liked/ revered’ by others, otherwise I won’t share it at all, wherein my sharing is not unconditional, but already expecting a positive experience and outcome out of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how the entire starting point of me ‘creating something’ is and had been mostly in order to show it and be able to be praised about it, or causing an experience within another, instead of allowing myself to just share it unconditionally, with no expectations toward it and a such not taking it personal or judging the fact that people can walk out, not say any feedback at all or simply dislike it and that is still okay, as a I cannot control the outcome and reactions that will be experienced in such moments.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create an expectation toward getting my father’s attention to watch a video that I made and believing that ‘he will love it’ and expecting the best case scenario from the get go mixed with fear of him just not getting to see the whole thing, standing up and leaving, which is what eventually happened – allowing me to then go into the victimized state of ‘he doesn’t want to see what I created’ and making a mental note of ‘not ever sharing anything with him again, he’s not interested,’ and within that severing a point of communication in terms of sharing what ‘I do’ with my parents, creating a rift toward my father and my own doings, deeming my stuff to be simply ‘not relevant’ for him which in a child’s mind translates into: I am not worthy of their attention/ I am not good enough/ entertaining enough for him to remain watching/ I should have done something different to capture his attention’ – which are all backchat statements based on thinking and believing that the problem was ‘me,’ when in fact the reason why he stood up and left is not based on ‘what I showed him,’ but his own personal decision to simply stand up and leave and within this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personal when someone stands up and leaves the room wherein I was showing them something and believing that I simply wasn’t good enough to capture their attention, without realizing it’s not about me or what I do, but a single decision the person made in that moment to leave.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel excited the moment that I was able to capture his attention wherein from this positive starting point, I try to keep the ‘excitement’ and positive attitude on top while actually feeling anxious and fearing that he simply won’t be able to stand/ go through the entire thing, and even thinking ‘if he doesn’t enjoy it, he’ll just stand up and leave,’ which became a reality at the end.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become fully stiff and anxious and nervous while he’s watching because of fearing that he’ll just stand up and leave, which had been a trademark of his, that I actually feared having to experience myself with my own work and sharing something with him.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to exist in such point of fear of ‘him leaving the room,’ and eventually manifesting it, confirming my own ‘future projections,’ without realizing how I simply had sentenced myself to my own words and supporting the co-creation of a moment wherein all I became was this ‘hope’ of him not leaving the room, eventually confirming that my hope was not a solution and that he ended up leaving the room anyways.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to get irritated at him for him standing up of the couch and beginning to arrange things, picking up the garbage and dusting off the cushions while the video is playing, only confirming what I was expecting him to do: standing up from the couch, finding something to do around while he plans to escape the scene/ room in a silent manner.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to exist as the fear ‘he’s not into it,’ and as such while being nervous and anxious about him eventually leaving, not being here breathing but only becoming this one point of hope and observance that is almost ensuring how things will unfold without having even gone through the actual events – yet eventually experimenting it as we are the ones that are creating our reality according to the words we accept and allow ourselves to exist as.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to go into a negative experience the moment that he left the room, feeling defeated and essentially declaring that I would give-up on any further attempt to get his attention on my work, which became a sentence that I realized I was in fact just saying out of spitefulness because I eventually realized I could have not taken the point personally.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to in that moment when seeing him leaving the room without saying anything, think ‘I won’t show him anything again,’ referring to my creative work and how I simply deemed in that moment that Nothing I would do would be of his interest, which was a rather all encompassing statement that in no way supports an actual realization of, first of all, not taking things personally and secondly assisting and supporting myself to see how I victimized myself there in that moment, holding on to the grudge of that memory, instead of working it with and explaining how I reacted, why I reacted and as such establish a proper communication that is not based only on short-sentences that generate an experience of ‘I am here’ and as such create bonds that in no way are of actual communication, but instead becomes another protocol type of communication that never really supports children to fully open up, because the father/ mother is not really ready to give its full to do so for their children.

Self Corrective statements:

When and as I see myself wanting to get someone’s attention to ‘see my stuff’ and in that moment already going into the fear of ‘they are not going to like it/ they will simply stand up and leave/ they will say they like it out of compromise’ and essentially self-sabotaging that single moment of inviting others to see something I’ve done with future projections of failing at getting their attention, which is how and why I have become resilient to share myself, in fear of not being ‘welcomed’ the way that I expected – I stop and I breathe, I realize that I am being conditional with me sharing myself wherein I am only seeking self-satisfaction as instant-gratification instead of sharing unconditionally without expecting anything in advance.

I realize that the only reason why I would want to get someone’s attention is because I haven’t allowed myself to give such attention to myself first, wherein then a negative experience and the choice of not sharing myself ever again comes as a spiteful mode for not having acquired the attention that I initially craved. Who I am as breath here is able to share without any drive of self-interest nor an expectation waiting to be fulfilled – who I am is constant here as the interaction that is able to be directed here as breath without any mind-interference of self interest.

When and as I see myself creating a positive experience when I do get people’s attention toward what I am doing, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is me just satisfying the attention seeker character that would have reacted in the opposite manner if such attention had not been given the way I expected – thus I see and realize how my beingness in the moment is/ was defined according to others, instead of me remaining constant and consistent without shifting into further mind-dimensions of self-interest.

When and as I see myself defining my starting point of creation according to creating a positive experience within me and within others, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am compromising myself within this very mechanism of positive experience upon expression wherein expression is no longer unconditional, but suiting a particular character that seeks energy as attention to keep existing.

 

When and as I see myself defining an entire point of interaction with another based on a ‘bad experience’ as defined by the ego of the mind in relation to not getting enough attention/ sufficient energy to continue a positive experience, I stop and I breathe – I realize that what I am defining as a point of separation or severing a relationship is in fact a spiteful action taken on by myself as the mind that will now go into the opposite polarity as the negative experience for not having gotten enough attention/ energy to keep a particular character – such as the attention seeker – running. Thus I allow myself to simply continue sharing myself unconditionally without wanting to ‘get’ an experience from another, but simply aligning myself to an equal and one physical stance wherein whether someone is interested in watching or not is not relevant any longer, as who I am is and can’t be defined according to other’s opinions, judgments and experiences created upon my own expression.

I assist and support myself to remain here as the physical breath whenever I share myself in any form with others, wherein I stop any expectations of either a positive or negative feedback as that clearly creates a point of expectation that is not required as all that I express myself as in the moment is what I am existing as in the moment – and that cannot be ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or ‘right’ or ‘wrong,’ but it’s a simple mirror and tool of self-reflection to get to know myself and as such support myself to See Me. If from this sharing others can support themselves as well in any aspect/ way = cool, yet it doesn’t define the point of expression in itself any longer.

When and as I see myself into the giving up mode of ‘I will never show anything to him/her/ them again’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am reacting according to not having fulfilled a character in my mind. Thus, I stop the self-victimization of deciding to ‘not share myself again’ and allow myself to share unconditionally that which I see assists and supports me – therefore I am the one that is responsible for the point of expression in order to reflect back on it and in self-honesty be able to decide whether this is in fact supporting me or not. I direct myself to self-forgive the moment or reaction if it emerges in the moment that another is not ‘paying attention’ to what I say/ do as I realize that this has been a reason for me to keep quiet/ become isolated, just because of thinking, believing and perceiving that just because someone did not want to hear me = no one ever will.

When and as I see myself feeling anxious and nervous upon wondering what others have to say in relation to something I created, I stop and I breathe – I realize that such anxiety is stemming from expecting either the worse or the best and as such keeping me in a friction and unnecessary expectation, without realizing that who I am here as every moment of breath does not require to be expecting the next moment with any experience, as it comes breath by breath – thus any further value given to words in separation of myself here as the physical body must be re-assessed to see how I have defined such words as positive assessment or negative assessment.

When and as I see myself going into a negative experience for someone remaining silent when I am sharing something, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I have associated silence with a negative input instead of realizing that being expecting something out of another is already placing a condition in me sharing myself – thus I simply allow myself to share in the moment, without any expectation – yet also ensuring that the message is clear and asking questions if pertinent about it, instead of just complying to the silence and creating backchat about it instead of directing it in the moment, facing what Is see and cross referencing it with the person/ people involved in such moment.

I realize that most of the problems and even wars in our world and reality have been built around misunderstandings that, because they were not clearly and directly spoken, they grew into major conflicts that were able to apparently only be solved through wars and further conflicts, without realizing that such misunderstanding could have in fact been talked through and arranged in a way wherein we are in fact able to come to an agreement of what’s best for all. This is thus speaking in general terms of communication and how silence or physical attitudes had become these ‘indicators’ of something not being ‘alright’ – however, we are the only ones that have decided what is alright and what is not alright according to worth and value of the mind, which is how we have made of our reality a polarized concoction of opinions fighting to get on top of each other, instead of considering the physical reality in common sense at all times, which actually simplifies the points to a self-evident correction that can only be neglected and/or deliberately denied if we are only willing to continue supporting the ‘who we are’ as mind systems of opinions, judgments, beliefs and experiences that in no way have supported life in Equality.

As a general suggestion it is to assess ourselves whenever we are sharing or being the ones on the receiver’s ‘end’ and check our reactions, if we go into a fidgety mode, or restlessness or plain mind judgment, to get ourselves back here in the physical wherein we can ‘come back to our senses’ and realize that we are in fact sharing a moment with another being that is sharing themselves unconditionally, and that us shoving away that opportunity to do so will create consequences not only within them but as a general statement of separation that we create in that moment stemming only from our own mind-limitation that in no way regards life in equality, but can only create such separation if there is a ego-perspective to defend, a mind’s desire to fulfill.

I assist and support me to walk my process and identify such moments in my day to day living, to ensure that I do not repeat this separation within me, nor do I become the one that denies or shoves away another’s expression in means of fulfilling the desires of the mind in the moment.

 

For further support:

Desteni Forum

Desteni I Process

Read our Journey to Life blogs to get to know Yourself as the mind and be able to stop the cycles of enslavement we’ve been carrying from the past in order to gift ourselves a fresh new start wherein we can finally consider each other as one.

 

DSC01992

 

Blogs to understand more about Parenting and the patterns that play out between parents and children:

 

Interviews:

julio 29, 2012

106. Abundance = Elitist Positive Experience

Creating a positive experience upon opening a cabinet with lots of food stored as a synonym of care and love by parents. This became a ‘trait’ in itself wherein my logic worked as follows: ‘because my father cares for us, he buys us lots of food and ensures we never run out of certain products, which is how he demonstrates that he is always thinking about what is best for us’ – Yet I never took into consideration if there were any other motives to do that, if there were other reasons such as scarcity or even lacking  enough money in the future wherein the excess of items in stock were more of a food bank for emergency situations. The reasons may vary, however one thing is certain: such positive experience can only be achieved if we have enough money to buy food and to buy More than is immediately required to consume.

This is how I debunk parental care to an opportunity that only a few can provide their children with, as well as seeing how in an Equal Money System world, there will be no need to create a positive experience and binding force between family members out of being able to provide with the necessary means to live, as this will be a given right for all.

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider that having enough food in stock at home bought by my father is a synonym of care, wherein I have associated the fact that he always ensures to have enough food in stock as an efficient-point, a preventive type of personality trait that I associated as something positive, without realizing that having food in stock is actually stemming from the fear of not having enough food/ not having enough supplies in any given moment, which is how I learned how to be preventive out of fear only.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define my father’s efficiency according to ‘being able to always provide us food and never experiencing a lack of something,’ which is only a trait available and dependent on money itself – not the person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a form of admiration and pride when being able to open up our food cabinet and always finding several milks in stock, which I then took as an example for me to follow, wherein having ‘more than enough’ is seen as a synonym of being ‘preventive’ and ‘efficient’ which is something that my father would take pride on, and that I accepted as a genuine point to consider implementing as myself, until I realize that the starting point of it was fear of ending up with no food/ supplies – and also it is to realize how such ‘food in stock’ can only be a reality if there is enough money to buy more than what is currently required – wherein every time that I would find out there is no more than 1 item in stock, I would associated it with being in any form of crisis or financial trouble, just because of how I got so used to seeing more than enough in our food cabinets as a positive experience, wherein the negative as ‘not seeing more than 1’ was immediately a ‘red flag’ as an indication that there was something wrong going on in our economy.

I realize that this is plainly an elitist type of association since a couple of billion people in this world cannot possibly even fathom what it would be like to acquire more food than the one required in the moment, nor would it be even possible to have money to do so on a regular basis – hence I see how I had lived in a small secured bubble wherein I took food for granted and as a synonym of care such as ‘my father cares for us because he brings food to the table,’ but never questioning why my father was able to do that, but many other beings in this world were simply not able to do that, as there are billions deliberately left out of the ‘world system loop’ wherein money is not something that they have any access to – hence food, shelter, clothing and basic services come to them only as a rarity just because of everything else being secured within a minority in this world which includes ourselves – and within that, it is to see how we even dare to create a positive experience out of having enough good in your storage/ food cabinet, without even stopping for a moment to see if every single being on Earth is equally capable and able to have access to feed their children properly, if they have access to money itself in order to buy food and anything else required to live.

Thus I see that all the values I have created within my life and throughout the interactions with our basic sustenance within this world system, have been based upon me taking for granted the ability to have money, the ability to buy food and even the ability to choose what to eat, which is a rather elitist move that is not readily given to all beings equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate having enough food in stock as ‘feeling secure and cared for’ wherein I would start mimicking this attitudes of having plenty in stock in order to feel secure and that I was caring for myself, not realizing this is essentially done in fear of ending up with no food in the moment, wherein buying milk became a compulsory act until I realized what I was doing and how in a very clear though in ‘the back of my head,’ there was fear of something suddenly emerging in our reality and me feeling secure because at least I would have something to eat.

I realize that there are billions that have no possibility to even have a regular access to food, nor can they even dream about being able to store food somewhere and many do not even have a place to live. Thus I see and realize how I have kept myself in this small bubble wherein I would only seek to satisfy my needs, and forget about the world, which is how we stand for the Equal Money System to ensure that all beings can be equally cared for, without having to fear running out of something, not having enough money to feed ourselves the next day and also stop all the relationships of specialness and authority that we have built toward other beings in order to secure our own survival, which is what has created this entire system of self interest covered up and justified with familial bonds in the name of ‘love’ and ‘care,’ when it is in fact just associations that work like investments wherein you are either a winner or a loser according to the amount of money you are able to have in this world-system game.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a positive experience of just seeing that no matter if I empty this cereal box, there is another one ready to be opened by me as ‘my father bought it to me because he cares for me’ which is how I developed this positive attitude toward my father based on his ability to provide food for us and pay for our education, which is an example of how money defines our relationships toward people, often polarizing such relationships if the other parent is not as supportive financially which was then considered in my mind as ‘not caring enough for me,’ simply because of not being contributing in a physical manner as money toward the household.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even at times get annoyed by me having to thank my father for everything he had bought us to eat and our personal care, wherein I would start backchatting the point of him sharing with us what he had bought us and how I judged him for boasting on what he had bought in order for us to feel ‘in debt’ with him, which was only my own backchat about it, never really considering what was enabling that entire scenario in the first place besides asking whether I was experiencing myself in a positive or negative manner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate provision of food/ basic needs as ‘parental love and care,’ wherein I accepted the fact that I did not communicate that much with my father, but would always be physically supported by him with what I required to live- hence developing a positive attitude toward my father, which then turned into a polarity point in relation to how I would experience myself with my mother that would provide that point of communication but no financial support – hence me silently judging her as ‘less than’ because she would not contribute with money to our household.

Within this, I see, realize and understand how I went on creating my own value-systems according to what I deemed of value – such as products/ food/ personal care items/ education that I would get from my father, and how a point of interaction would be valued as also some type of asset that was ‘less worthy’ because there was no buying or consuming involved – which is how and why I had been brainwashed to only consider that which can be bought as something of value, just because of having to pay for such point of identification as self and it already indicating something more ‘challenging’ that I could call ‘love’ as I learned that in order to live = you must strive to make a living, and if someone cares enough for you = they will walk such a life-strive and bring food, which is what became a measuring point within me toward myself and as a future projection of how I wanted to lead my life: always having more than one and enough in stock in order to be secure and ‘feel cared for’/ provide care for others as well, without realizing it was mostly stemming out of fear.

Self Corrective Statements:

When and as I see myself feeling compelled to say ‘thank you’ to a repetition of items that have been bought in order to fulfill the character of ‘the provider’ within my father and myself; I stop and breathe – I realize that when I am compromising myself in any way, I must stop for a moment to assess what it is that I am in fact complying to as a positive experience that I am ‘grateful for,’ and how these seemingly positive reputation that we have and hold toward one based on complying each one’s positive character is the actual veil that does not allow ourselves to question such moments in the context of reality, but just comply to say ‘oh thank you!’ and feel cared for, loved and considered because of someone buying you food to eat, which is a relationship of convenience that can only exist as a form of control over others in order to become an authority over one’s life.

When and as I see myself associating having enough food in stock as something positive that I should be happy and feel that I am being cared for, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is only possible within the context of living in a family wherein there is enough money to buy food, to buy more than the necessary in order to keep it in stock as a preventive measure, without realizing that prevention in this case is only available because of money - thus realizing how we have separated ourselves from what is here to such an extent that our relationships our built according to how we are able to give to ourselves the necessary to live from the moment we emerge into this reality, which proves that we cannot possibly walk this system without understanding how our very ‘loved ones’ are in fact systematic positions that have ensured we as children learn ‘who the authority is’ based on the ability to provide the necessary food / resources to live and how whenever we do not get these basic points, we retaliate against parents or custodians and use such resentment as a way to victimize ourselves for not having proper support – when in fact such support should not be bound to a family-structure only, but as an individual process of self-support in self-honesty that we can externalize as an overall system of unconditional support such as the Equal Money system wherein no one will be bound to another to get access to the necessary resources to live, but will simply observe that everyone is getting enough to eat and live as a living right on Earth.

When and as I see myself creating a positive experience out of buying something, consuming or keeping in stock, I stop and I breathe – I first ensure that I am not buying such product out of fear but only as self-support and in moderate quantities wherein I can see that fear is not being the directive principle of my consumption habits, but is only common sensical according to the ability we have of going to as shop and buying more if required, without realizing how such ‘simple action’ is not an opportunity for billions on Earth.

When and as I see myself feeling compelled to say ‘thank you’ to my father or anyone else buying stuff for me, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am only wanting to create a point of thankfulness as an awareness of what I am being provided with, without realizing that such provision is only available for those with money and how then all the perceived ‘care’ and ‘love’ and ‘concern’ is in fact covering up all possible fears of not having enough food to feed the children, which is a rather practical point to consider, ensuring no fear, no backchat is existent within the acquisition of such products being only a habit and a paternal-pattern that I had created as a point to emulate for myself in my life, as I see and realize how I had created such a positive attitude out of getting all these products for us to consume and eat, which was to me like a synonym of love and care.

When and as I see myself seeing food in stock as a positive thing in my reality, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is only able to exist if we have enough money to do so, thus I support myself to make of such experience of being cared for not something bound to parents and money, but a living certainty, a living right that is able to be provided for all beings equally which is how and why in the equal money system, though parents receiving unconditional financial support, there will be more time to educate themselves to become parents and as such ensure that no emotional/ feeling bounds are created from the role that has been taken of the parents as ‘providers of life,’ but instead walk as equals with children only ensuring that proper nutrition, proper care and physical considerations are implemented in the living space, once that money is no longer a limitation for the being to have a dignified living, and how it is important to allow parents to see how a child is not a load to the parent, but only an extension of self that can be equally walked-with as the realization that we can support each other to Live instead of living to build each other’s ego and system-status as parents/ children in hierarchical levels.

I see and realize how money has determined my positive experience toward my parents – and my father specifically – in relation to being able to provide the necessary means and education for me to have a dignified living –whereas if I had not been supported with these things, I would have had a negative experience, which proves how money determines even our familial interactions and relationships as no being is currently an alien to how the world system works in terms of having money or not to live

I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System as a means to ensure that no being is bound to another through a monetary-binding force creating a dependence toward one another in a hierarchical mode – but instead, all beings being equally supported learn what it is that we can actually get to recognize and appreciate of one another out of the monetary loop, but instead consider how we can support each other to develop better ways to live and interact in a world wherein survival is no longer a “living-mode” but life and living is the point then explored, shaped and sculpted as we go learning how to be parents, children and inhabitants in the world where equality is the living principle, which in itself points out major shifts in how families currently exist and are bound as. Parents will become living examples of what we are here to be and do instead of becoming the bosses of children dictating their every word and every say through the imposition of authority as a relationship of need through and by money as it currently exists.

Support the Equal Money System as this is the only way that we will ensure each other are no longer subject to have a positive or negative life experience with regards to money, but money is instead a given-living-right, leaving enough time to focus on our living skills, communication abilities and the development of human expression as a means to ensure that no being is left behind in their ability to live and express in/ as their utmost potential, as this is what we see and realize is what’s best for all in Equality.

And Educate yourself at Desteni to understand how in an equal world, no parental figure will be able to continue passing on manipulation tactics and hierarchical roles onto children, as the only thing that will exist is equal consideration of one another in a world wherein the basic needs will be readily given, and what will be developed is the ability to interact, express and live as equals.

Read the blogs at Journey to Life 

DSC00614

Blogs:

Interviews:

The Soul of Money - Money Consciousness - Part 29

 

This blog is a continuation from 

105. Having a Good Time is defined by MONEY

 

julio 28, 2012

105. Having a Good Time is defined by MONEY

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condition my expression with another from the starting point of whether the sound of their voice, their body movements and general ‘beingness’ in the moment is oozing positivity, happiness and a general sense of enjoyment wherein I then mirror the person’s attitude in an instant manner, wherein I allowed myself to be subdued by the entire positivity experienced within another, becoming an instant character that accepts ‘the positive’ as something that should not even be questioned because: it’s good! It’s positive! Let’s have fun! And as such, not realize how I would go into the absolute opposite with the same being whenever the situation and event would be experienced with the negatively charged attitude, bodily movements and voice tonality wherein then I would mirror their self-experience in a way wherein I could only suppress myself and limit my self expression out of fear of someone’s negative experience.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to create a positive experience out of a moment with my father wherein I can deduce and assess that ‘he’s had a cool day at work!’ because he is happy, which is the same as having money wherein then I choose to be happy as well as that means he won’t be in a bad mood/ angry toward everyone for not having a cool day at work. Within this, I see, realize and understand how I’ve come to mimic/ mirror another’s experience as my own and from that, create a starting point within myself of either positivity or negativity according to the person I’ll be interacting with presents themselves as, with either a positive or negative mood, within this defining an entire moment according to another’s experience, which was a common thing within me to limit myself by, wherein I would be cautious and careful to communicate within the consideration of another’s feelings and emotions in the moment, which means that I would always support their characterization by me becoming a supportive role in the play, and never taking a definitive stance to remain constant and consistent in my communication, but would instead become a mirror to others’ experiences as that would ensure that they remain in their characters and I remain as the ‘good person’ that will support their characters – whether they are positive or negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel excited and joyful about the idea of going out for dinner with my parents as that’s an indication that he’s got enough money to take us out and have a moment of what I defined as ‘fun,’ wherein I would then support the entire ‘good spirited’ situation/ moment by being equal to my father’s childish expression, which became a conditional aspect on whether he had enough money or not.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never see how money would define my beingness as a mood situation as well, as when we were in severe financial trouble, I became more secluded, worried and anxious as a child and how things would change the moment that I knew we had enough money to have fun, go out, travel, which then became the polarized condition in my reality to either feel ‘good’ or ‘bad’ about life, never seeing how all and everything that I would do would be conditioned by the amount of money I had -through my father – or didn’t have, which is how my father’s mood and general stance would directly influence me and my stance due to the dependence that exists on a financial level toward him.

I realize that within a system wherein we are not supported equally from birth to death, children are conditioned to be dependent on their parents success/ failure to ‘make it’ within the world system of money, which is unacceptable as lives can be forever tainted if an unstable financial situation goes on at home, or there is no support at all at home which is why and how we currently live in a world wherein we have major problems on a ‘psychological level,’ simply because unconditional support is not given to all, hence survivalism leads to living an uncertain life wherein ‘who we are’ is dependent on having ‘good’ and ‘bad days’ that are defined according to the amount of money we have/ don’t have to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how the entire starting point of ‘who I am’ in a moment can be absolutely determined by money as a positive experience or lack of money as negative experience wherein I can feel ‘content’ within myself because of, for example, my father having enough money to take us out for dinner, which I had defined as a treat and a luxury in terms of us not having had such moments in a long time in that moment in the past wherein a difficult financial situation was being faced at home.

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to start taking things for granted again when financial stability became a constant at home, forgetting how I had absolutely limited myself to a great extent when we had been through financial trouble, wherein I became more secluded, sad, dismal in my perspective toward the world as opposed to when I started seeing money again, which was the time when I then went on creating my own ‘problems’ in my mind as emotional and feeling situations, because money was no longer being a decisive factor for me to be either sad or happy any longer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever feel ‘good’ and in ‘positive spirits’ whenever I was able to benefit from my father’s earned money at work, wherein I simply accepted ‘the positive’ as something that is certainly acceptable and normal to just give in as a ‘good moment,’ defining the entirety of ‘who I am’ according to the entire context of the moment: father being in a ‘good mod’= father having enough money to take us out for dinner = us having a good time all dependent on money itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘good’ because of not having to feel guilty (wtf?) about me going to a restaurant and making my father spend money on me just because I know beforehand that he’s got money to pay for it – thus defining a good moment based on actually not having to be fearing or worrying about money in the moment, which indicates that such positive moments were never in fact real but only a counter-act to all the time that we would be in essence worrying about money and not having enough money to get our positive experiences such as going out for dinner on a Friday night.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define the entire stance of me being ‘in good spirits’ and generally complying to the entire bubble context of ‘happy family because there’s money to go out’ without questioning it further, and just complying to define that as ‘fun,’ shoving away and deliberately hiding the thoughts that would come up in such moments such as ‘why can’t all people just be happy as we are in the moment, having enough money to go out?’ which were thoughts that would come up when and during the traffic lights on the way to the restaurant we would encounter people that were working at that time selling things, doing street juggling in order to make a living, wherein I would immediately shut off my thoughts about that and would go back into the ‘feel good’ experience that I was carrying myself with along with my family.

Self Corrective Statements:

When and as I see myself conditioning my entire expression based on the context of a ‘good spirited moment’ based on for example, having enough money to have a moment of enjoyment with others and becoming absolutely enthralled with it and full with ‘joy,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that such experience is then not me being here breath, but me giving into the experiences that I am perceiving within others and assessing through the realization that we can be ‘happy’ because we have enough money to enjoy ourselves, as enjoyment within this current world system is equated to having enough money to buy something/ consume and as such equate it with a positive experience.

When and as I see myself adapting my communication, my ‘beingness’ in a moment into a positive spirit/ enjoyment and overzealousness in relation to spending a moment with others, I stop and I breathe – I realize that such positive experience was only created and emerged from the starting point of a good mood created by having enough money, which means that such enjoyment would not be possible without any money. Thus I stop defining ‘who I am’ in relation to being in a good mood or a bad mood in relation to the amount of money that I have, wherein money is able to buy a ‘positive experience’ or create a negative one if there’s not enough money to survive.

When and as I see myself in ‘good spirits’ when having a moment of enjoyment that is being bought with money, I stop and I breathe – I realize that these situations have been taken for granted just because we have money to do so, without seeing how not everyone in the world can have access to such ‘enjoyment’ as money is not readily given as s form of unconditional support to live, which would then make an experience of enjoyment almost impossible as there would be, for example, no more people that would have to work in a restaurant serving others in order to make money as they will be equally supported by themselves.

Life will change in a way wherein the things that we have currently taken for granted will no longer exist, as they are based upon the abuse of others in order to create enough hierarchical power to ensure that there are always those ‘below’ that can be abused in order to give a certain service/ work in exchange of money, which is a condition of enslavement that we have made ‘ok’ in our reality and justifying it with the words ‘they have to make a living somehow,’ but not being willing to see how our very own positive experience is stemming from others’ enslavement to ‘make a living’ as in making money in any way available within the current world system.

When and as I see myself creating a positive experience out of the memory of having felt ‘bad’/ negative experience in the same situation, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am only going from one polarity to the other defining a moment based on memories and the ‘power’ that money currently has in order to buy good moments/ experiences and the opposite which is how we experience ourselves as depressed whenever there’s not enough money to buy/ consume positive experiences, which is how and why we require to equalize the ability for all to have a proper constant and continuous support, so that we can stop going from one pole to the other seeking for positive experiences because they will be readily available, wherein the have/ have not experience will no longer define who we are in our communication, in our beingness and relationship with others in our reality, as money will no longer be a factor to create either positive or negative experiences, but will become a constant source of support for all in equality.

When and as I see myself going into a positive experience when getting money, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is a perceptual experience wherein the ‘positive attitude character’ is triggered, creating the illusion of having a ‘good moment’ that is only equated to ‘having enough money to live,’ which is how we have defined our beingness as being constantly seeking for the positive, the money and the ‘good times ‘ that are able to be bought with money, while trying to escape, prevent and avoid at all cost ending up in the other side of the coin as in having no money and as such, getting a negative experience out of it.

I commit myself to establish a monetary system wherein children and parents will be equally supported from birth to death, which implies that there will no longer be family conflicts in terms of a financial situation of lack being a definitive factor within the beings’ lives and everyday experience, wherein the lack of money creates a general hostile environment of ‘bad mood’/ anger/ frustration/ irritation that is then plundered onto the children, affecting children’s lives in a way that parents cannot yet fathom as they believe that children do not ‘care’ about such monetary conflicts, yet it does as everything that we do and how we function currently in this world is defined by and according to money – therefore with giving unconditional support to all beings, we ensure that children and parents are no longer having to suffer a lack of money defining their entire beingness and life experience, but instead make of life support a constant experience that is readily available for all, as that way we ensure that who we are is the expression itself of life that is here, always unconditionally existing here and that it is us human beings that now must establish a living-system on Earth wherein such unconditional support is extended in an organized manner, such as the Equal Money System to finally be able to focus our lives into an actual development of who we are as living beings on Earth – instead of defining our entire lives based on ‘education’ only to ‘make it’ within a system where everything we’ve done is and has been defined by money itself. This is how we can ensure that our every day living on Earth becomes an opportunity for self-expansion and genuine enjoyment, as there will be no need to create a separate moment of enjoyment according to having money to do so.

I realize that the moment I start taking my life for granted, I miss out on what is real and must then bring myself back here where I can definitely ensure that I am in fact considering how every single day that I am able to continue living is linked to my ability to have money, which is something that Not everyone on Earth has  - thus I commit myself to take responsibility for this fuckup as the world system that has deliberately marginalized those that have no money at all to live and how their lives cannot be ‘taken for granted’ as they haven’t been granted with the basic living rights to LIVE on Earth.

Hence any and all ‘good spirits’ moment is a cover up and make up illusion to the reality that is here, wherein any ‘good moment’ is actually a masquerade to cover the truth that is here, that is in no way something I can feel content about – thus any good moment experience is actually self-interest only and a point of separation from what is REAL.

Stand up and support the Equal Money System

For further support to realize and understand how the positive has been the key factor to the delusion we have created as ‘reality’ in this world, educate yourself at Desteni 

Share yourself at the Desteni Forums

and read our blogs at Journey to Life 

 

 fakesmile

Blogs:

 

Interviews to understand WHY the Positive must also be let go of:

julio 27, 2012

104. Anger Intimidation in Communication

 
This point is exploring how our ability to communicate is influenced when and as we are in the presence of a person that is clearly possessed by anger and/or in a bad mood, wherein we then mirror the person’s experience as if it was our own and take ‘our position’ within the game/ situation, playing out a character that will most likely in our minds lead us to believe that we were the ones to blame/ we were the cause of the problem, as that ensues a process of becoming the ‘victim’ of another’s mood/ mind possession in order to remain in a ‘good stand’ within our mind, justifying why we didn’t speak up and remain constant and consistent within our application to not participate in any form of emotional blackmail, but instead lead the moment with communicating here as breath, ensuring that we present a solution to the situation/ problem instead of becoming part of the problem by reacting in an emotional manner toward another’s experience.

 

Here I describe a memory of being in the kitchen with my mother and my father getting home to have lunch – the moment I would realize he was in a ‘bad mood,’ I would immediately go into fear and petrification, not wanting to be the ‘target’ of his anger by picking on anything he could to complain about me in any way – this means, taking it personal and becoming influenced by another’s mind possession/ mood in the form of anger in this case.

In such event I eventually spoke to get what I wanted, after having feared speaking and trying to find the ‘right moment to interject,’ while being consumed with anxiety and fear – hence the correction will unfold to point out how the moment we ‘mirror’ another’s experience = we become part of the mind-game and as such, we miss our ability to be self-directive no matter what.

We are able to support another by not participating in their mind-game/ not playing the victim and or try and ‘fight their possession,’ but instead remain here in constancy and consistency in and as breath, creating and establishing solutions instead of adding up to the list of retaliation and further grudge-creation over time.

 

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condition my entire communication with another based on the mood they are presenting in the moment, wherein if they are in an angry mode, I would go into immediate fear and quietness in order to not disturb the angry person further, which is how I wrought this idea of myself as being a nuisance because of being the blank in my mind of ‘the angry person exerting it all out on me,’ which is part of how I have manipulated myself throughout my life to not take responsibility for my own suppression and hesitation to express and be self directive – but instead would allow me to simply be a victim of the situation and using it as a form of self pity in order to feel like I had been ‘wronged’ by others, when in fact it was only we reacting to someone else’s anger and fearing anger itself as something that is more than me in the moment, playing the ‘victimized’ character that ‘bears’ the angry person.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become the experience that others are presenting in a moment in my reality, such as if a person was angry or depressed, I would go into self suppressed anger and depression as well, which is how I would immediately give into the character presented in front of me instead of ever standing up in the moment and realizing that I do not have to participate in the same emotional game, but can instead be and remain self-directive at all times with and as myself, understanding that if others exert their anger onto others, it is not to be taken personal, but rather see what is being said and establish a practical solution for the point of irritation, realizing that anger and any other emotion will not change in any way the reality and the points that are being faced in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go immediately go into tension the moment that I perceive that my father is angry and that I am ‘on his way’ which means that I can be yelled at for being a nuisance/ an obstacle on his way, which is a metaphorical way to also see how I have played out the pattern of when and as facing the anger/ bad mood of another, I would go into immediate submission and fear instead of standing up in the moment and not allowing myself to be affected by it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in sarcasm with my mother about my father’s mood which became a way to speak out the backchat that would in a way ‘smooth out the moment’ as the actual tension that I would experience when having to be in the presence of my father being angry, as well as the projection I’d made toward my mother of being equally tense, but smoothing it out with jokes/ sarcasm as to make ourselves above the situation, when in fact within doing so, we were giving actual ‘power to it’ fully and completely.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to participate in sarcasm whenever I see myself facing an uncomfortable situation such as facing someone’s anger, which is a pattern that I have copied from my mother from the situations and moments when we would ‘make fun’ of my father’s hissy fits and laugh about it, which would make him even more angry and silent, which is how I came to fear silence because of not knowing if he would just explode in any given moment or not – yet laughed about the sarcasm as a way to cope with the actual stress and tension in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into ‘quiet mode’ and not communicating at all with my father when and I would perceive and see that he is absolutely angry / in a bad mood, which would make me ‘afraid’ of even speaking to him just because of not wanting to be cursed at or yelled at or replied in some angry manner, because of knowing how when he’d be angry, he’s use any point as any ‘flaw’ within me in order to exert his anger onto everyone around him – hence I would keep quiet.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a point of fear and petrification whenever my father was angry at lunch time, because that would mean that any thing that I required to ask him – such as money to buy books/ things I required for school – would be received as a ‘give me give me’ attitude that I knew would be replied with an angry negative answer to my request.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to from the fear of asking something to my father, I would remain instead quiet building up the tension and anxiety doubting every single moment whether I’d be courageous enough to speak to him or not, which would consume my very moment instead of ever considering breathing and simply speaking out, not taking it personal if he did eventually exert his anger onto me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had to ‘find the right moment to interject,’ without realizing that there were Not going to be any ‘right moment,’ as all such moment was simply going to remain in a tense status quo that I simply had to break-through in the moment by actually voicing myself and my request toward him.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define my entire beingness according to being in the presence of an angry person, such as my father, and as such mimic the person’s experience and make it my own, wherein I then became just a supporter of the mind possession by actually fearing to interact with another that is and was clearly mind possessed in anger and frustration.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to whenever I felt ‘helpless’ within a situation, turn to my mother for answers, simply because I could not see myself as having equal authority toward myself and my own life, wherein I wanted her to ‘soothe out’ the moment with my father instead of me simply directing my request to him and talking without any fear about what I required in that moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to decide to remain silent and quiet whenever there was a situation of ‘anger’ within another, which is how I became submissive toward people that would go into anger with great ease, simply because of fearing that such anger would be exerted toward me with ‘rough words’ that I would immediately react to in sadness and anger within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into guilt whenever I had to ask my father for money when I knew that he had not have a good day at work, because that would make me feel like a nuisance that had to be ‘paid for,’ and as such remaining quiet and not wanting to complain and be as ‘cooperative’ as possible by going into absolute silence and conforming to not speak – which I would only breakthrough if the need was absolutely necessary in that moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like a load toward my father, and believing that because I was asking him for money I was in fact adding myself up to his ‘problems,’ which I used as a a justification and excuse to think and believe that it would be better for me to not exist/ not wanting others to spend money on my living, which is a pattern that I took as a form of ‘austerity’ in a self-deprecating way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself in everything I would do simply because of the fear of not wanting to be an economical nuisance to my father since I was a child, thus becoming overtly self-conscious about my expenses and being extremely aware of how to spend my money and handling it with fear as if it was ‘more’ than myself, simply because of how I would see that the lack of money would create a lot of stress in my father, and I simply didn’t’ want to be part of the problem – thus I would refrain and abstain myself from asking more than whatever I really needed, which I didn’t take in common sense but as a form of repression and fear, which became my relationship toward money and the relationship toward my father as the ‘financial supporter’ in my life.

Self Corrective Statements:

When and as I see myself going into suppression because of how I perceive another to be angry or in a bad mood and ready to burst it out onto others, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I do not have to mimic another’s mind possession but instead direct myself to communicate here as breath if it is ultimately necessary to speak and as such, be able to support another indirectly to see that there is no point in keeping oneself in anger as there can be no solutions in anger to solve/ fix that which one is angry about

When and as I see myself deciding not to speak to another due to how I see they are mind possessed in anger, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this decision is being made out of fear of being shouted/ yelled at which is just a point of fear that I created for myself in order to stand then as a victim, which was getting into another character to not face the fact that I had in fact become another’s emotional reaction as well- thus I support myself to speak whenever I require to do so, not giving more ‘power away’ to the person that is angry, but directing myself in common sense at all times, as I see that within me stopping playing out the counter act character, I am in fact assisting and supporting another/ others to see that it is unnecessary to react in anger if there is an actual solution that can be walked and implemented by all participants in common sense.

When and as I see myself taking another’s anger as something personal/ directed toward me, I stop and I breathe – I realize that all emotions and feelings are in fact self created – thus it is always about the creator and their responsibility over their own experiences, which is then how I realize that in no way do I have to ‘follow the game’ of anger and emotional blackmail in order to conduct a particular situation as that only leads to further character creation.

Therefore, I assist myself to simply speak and communicate as usual and not give into another’s negative expression/ reactions in the moment.

When and as I see myself immediately going into a physical tension and self-suppression when facing someone that is angry, I stop and I breathe, I realize that in me reacting physically toward another’s mood/ anger in this case is just supporting the character and in no way enabling the other person to actually see the character for what it is and eventually, step out of the possession if they are willing to take responsibility for themselves as I take responsibility for me not acting-along with the moody character

When and as I see myself going into victimization according to how I have believed and perceived that I am ‘standing on someone’s feet’ as in being a nuisance, an obstacle or plain annoying in another’s presence while and during their mind possession I stop and I breathe – I realize that any form of suppression I would use as a way to then justify my own self-victimization and further spitefulness toward those that I had victimized myself from – therefore I see and realize that there is no point in participating in anger and sadness and further fear with others possessed by such emotions, but instead direct me to keep my application practical at all times without following an emotional drift toward it.

When and as I see myself being sarcastic about another’s angry mood as a means to smooth the tension and self-suppression, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I would do this in order to feel good about myself, as if I was ‘over the anger’ by being able to make fun of it, without realizing that in this I simply developed yet another character in order to cope with others and their reality of becoming absolutely angry/ pissed off in a given moment.

When and as I see myself fearing to speak and communicate out fear of making another even more angry or ‘blowing things up,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that within me fearing, I give absolute space for another’s mind possession to fully take place as I am then suppressing me and becoming ‘the victim’ that will then find ways to ‘out do’ such repression, which can only come as just another form of abuse wherein life is still not considered, because the moment we allow ourselves to carry anger as a constant experience within ourselves and toward others, we can only expect such anger to consume the being until the being is no more, as the being can only continue if taking responsibility for the words being said and communicated.

When and as I see myself conditioning my expression based on how I perceive another’s mood in the moment, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the moment I refrain and suppress myself from expressing based on ‘how I perceive them’ in the moment is me only giving into the character play outs that support each other in order to maintain a point of conflict with no solution, instead of actually being a point of support and example of how it is perfectly possible to solve a problem and situation by giving it proper direction in common sense, instead of becoming another player in the game – this implies at all times sticking to common sense and practical solutions to show and reveal how no anger will make any difference to a situation or event that requires a solution, but that it is only through stopping the emotional reaction that one can in fact establish practical directions to walk and create solutions to the problems.

 

When and as I see myself trying to find the ‘right moment to interject’ in a communication, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is another excuse to remain in the victimized state wherein I believe that another must ‘give me the right moment to speak,’ which is allowing another’s possession and character to be ‘more’ than myself in any given moment/ situation. Thus I direct myself to speak and communicate in the moment whatever I require to say as I make the space for myself to be heard in the moment – within this I also see and realize that I am able to be indirectly supporting another to see how throwing tantrums, getting angry and being irritated/ in a bad mood does not solve any situation and that it all can instead be walked in a normal chat wherein solutions can be practically established and placed into action.

When and as I see myself wanting to give up a point of communication due to fearing that someone will exert their anger on me, I stop and I breathe – I realize that within me suppressing and ‘saving my expression for later’ is an act of giving into the mind and the fear experienced to communicate with someone that is anger, in fear of being the target of such extreme anger which is just another excuse used to not stand up in the moment and make myself heard and be clear and direct within the point of communication that is absolutely possible breath by breath and not giving into any form of emotional blackmail through the ‘possessed in anger’ person.

When and as I see myself feeling ‘helpless’ in a situation wherein I am in the presence of a person that is possessed in anger or in a bad mood, I stop and I breathe – I realize that me deciding not to speak or hesitate in my expression is accepting another’s possession as real and such, I become part of the game wherein the one in anger has the most ‘positive experience’ as an ability to control the environment over those that only usually ‘react’ in fear toward such anger – which implies that within me stopping existing as anger when participating with a person that is angry or in a bad mood, I allow myself to become part of the solution in the moment wherein words, communication in common sense is able to be expressed without the requirement of any emotional or feeling input.

When and as I see myself victimizing myself toward others based on them being ‘angry’ and seeing myself indirectly as the cause of such anger, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is part of the self-victimization pattern that I have played out wherein I could simply play the victim in order to not have to actually stand up and direct myself to speak and communicate – but instead remain in a subservient mode toward another in order to apparently ‘not cause any further problems,’ without realizing that all problems have a beginning and an end within ourselves, as ourselves. Thus I stop playing out the same pattern and direct myself to see how I can direct the point in simplicity and common sense, presenting solutions at all times instead of reacting and adding myself up to ‘the problematic situation’ perceived and played out only by characters in the moment.

When and as I see myself creating a relationship of fear toward money and fearing making others angry because of the amount of money spent on me, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is the victimization character wherein I would give into being the ‘oppressed’ and ‘victim’ in order to not actually take self responsibility for myself and do what is required to support me effectively, which is how any form of possession can instead be called out, communicated in common sense and establish proper communication, instead of numbing and covering up such communication with anger and hissy fits that support no one.

I commit myself to always establish myself as the voice that is able to point out common sense and give practical solutions without participating in any emotional or feeling reaction in any given situation, as this is the type of stability and common sense that is required to embody at all times in a world where conflict is and has been that which feeds ourselves as minds submerged in conflict and problems, which is how when and as presenting solutions as ourselves, we start taking responsibility for our own experiences and actions to see how it is possible to in fact live in a completely new way wherein we are in fact supporting each other to become more effective in our day to day living, instead of just reacting about it and blowing a problem out of proportion as it usually goes on in the mind.

Thus I stop all mirror neuron activity of becoming empathic about another’s mood and as such, commit myself to remain here as breath as the sanity required in a world of madness, which begins and stops within myself.

Desteni 

Desteni Forum

Equal Money System

Journey to Life Blogs

This is a follow up to:

Blogs:

Interviews: